Oh life...

im actually at a pretty stable point in my life right now... except my job apparently. i thought things were going well, then i get told the other week that i was fired, but that i was lucky my other boss is a softie and thats why i still have my job.( i work for a mom and pop casino run by husband/wife) all because some player took something i said wrong or something. i dont know. i hate this work. i need out, but it will take years to get out while i go to school, which i have to start soon. im probably going to have to pay for some of it out of pocket. which is why i need my job for now. eventually i want to take a year off and just go to school. just get it done.
either way its going to be hard.  im having alot of anxiety about my job, never knowing if i walk in the door if i will be fired or not for some undisclosed reason.  My BF is nervous about it too.
hell, maybe if they do fire me it will give me what i need to just go to school for a while. im trying to just be confident that things will work out as they are suposed to.
something has to change. but i hate not knowing. its scary. i cant plan on it.