Oh, jesus

Want to cut. I want to cut so bad. And I told my boyfriend I'd call him if I was feeling bad...I won't. I don't want to bother him with my petty teenage tragedies. I just want to hurt myself like I haven't in ages. I want to cover my arms, my legs, my hips, my stomach, like I used to. I want to cut too deep. I want to bleed. I want to cause as much harm to myself as possible. And I can't. Not without hurting my best friend and my boyfriend, and not without being found out. Fuuuuck, today is not a good day.