Oh Dear God In Heaven.......

....Help Me!   17 hours after release from the hospital and i have had enough!  He is using phrases like " these are the marching orders, i am putting you on notice, and just do what i tell you ". You guessed... all in reference to his oxy and norco. are you kidding me? he needs to give it up and fast or he will find himself like a turtle on its back with no help.  And it is not only the pills, he is non-compliant in most aspects of recovery, just thinking he can do whatever he wants to whenever he wants: consequences be damned! well i have had enough of being held captive by his personality, anxieties and addictions. if he wants my help, he will learn to listen to reason, he will learn to respect all the members of this family, he will realize that his two adult sons,both with Master's degrees are capable of cutting the lawn and taking down the trash without his supervision and scheduling. No one really cares anymore about his approval/disapproval. So, when he sets up situations so that we "fail" according to him, he just reinforces his own idiocy.  detachment, i have discovered, is not all about letting go, it is about setting boundaries, and making demands of our own, and learning from our mistakes and going forward with or without them.
it is kind of sad though that after 30+ years of marriage, that fixing what is wrong turns out to be this.  but, really, i think, sadder for him than for me.