Oh, Brother!
Monday, August 04, 2008 – 3:30 P.M. I saw my social worker at the mental health clinic this morning. I’m not sure whether it was a good or bad session. That probably depends on your point of view. I thought things were going along well until we began talking about my brother. Even then, I thought it was going along well until my therapist accused me of being angry with my brother. After that, he upgraded my feelings to be ones of “rage.” I told him I felt that I had been abandoned several times by my brother. Who would not be upset by that? He said he could not wait until he had a family conference with my sister, brother, and I, adding, “It’s going to be a lot of fun.” That’s what he thinks. I do not know when this conference will take place, but I already have visions of it turning into a nasty brawl. I am seeing him again on August 15. He said he is concerned about the amount of pain I am having because of my medical problems. He does not want me to think I can control my pain by turning to crack cocaine. I said that I was already having strong cravings for the drug. He said if they continue I should consider returning to their substance abuse program, which is known as the Aquarius Program. I do not want to go through that again, but he said it might help me if things get bad enough. I will try to work harder on “staying clean.” Quotes for Success: “Successful men are influenced by desire for pleasing results. Failures are influenced by desire for pleasing methods.” Frank E. Brennan
Replies
Yes, I agree that your feelings of \'rage\' are quite normal. In fact, rage is a natural reaction to sexual abuse. I feel tremendous rage towards family. Not towards my rapists though. Isn\'t that weird?
I had a nasty brawl too. It is not fun. It\'s awful. I thought my 70-year old father was going to hit me. He motioned to do it. I snapped and was fighting for my life. I am surprised he didn\'t charge me, actually. He had every right to.
I think your therapist should see your brother and your sister alone and leave you be. But then again, I think victims of sexual abuse are still treated like crap by our mental health system, our law makers, and most of society. Ugh. There is that rage again.
What is going on with physical therapy, Jim? It seemed to be helping.
Kidney infections are pretty serious business. Hang in there. I\'ll send you some warm thoughts today. I missed ya.
Gosh ! Those were some interesting comments your therapist made !
I would be apprehensive, too.
I know it sounds awful right now, but at least you do have the Aquarius program if things get more difficult.
With all the stress you have had in the past couple of months, I think you are doing an amazing job on staying aware from cocaine.
One day at a time.
I hope your infection is helped by your medication.
Things will get better...they HAVE to right ??