odds and sods

As I sit here in the quiet, my mind is busy.  I am in Ottawa now.  If you are on Facebook, you can see dozens of photos of our great grandies (Joe goes crazy with his camera nd the girls).  Sierra and Bella are almost 2 and very busy.  But I wouldn't miss a bit of it.  They are saying new words every day.

We got a call on my birthday telling us that Cevyn, our granddaughter was in the hospital with an ectopic pregnancy.  Suddenly, I got flashbacks of Lisa in the hospital.  I had a panic attack and told Joe I had to go.  By the time I got off the phone, Joe had booked tickets and we had 2 hours to pack!  By 5 am the next day, we were in Ottawa.  Cevyn couldn't lift over 10 pounds for 2 weeks.  So we are here until Tuesday.  At the beginning, Joe and I were caregivers to Sierra and Bella for 6 days when Brendan was at work.  We were relieved to hear that he had this past Friday off!  By Thursday, we were exhausted.  My back was giving me grief from lifting them in and out of cribs, play structures and booster seats. 

I get very nervous when the girls are climbing.  I no longer have much emotional stamina.  Luckily Joe did most of the playing with them.  There is a playground in their complex so they like to climb and slide alot.  Unfortunately, they saw older kids climbing the ladders and thought they should be able to climb them too.  They also like to tease us that they are going to climb down the ladder. They do the stairs withoug a problem.  I had visions of them walking right off the edge and lying in a heap at the bottom! That is when Granny had to leave!  Joe's patience with children always amazes me.  He adores them and they him.   They can say Papa but not Granny!!!

Coming here is always bittersweet.  Traveling the roads that Lisa and I used to frequent in her VW Beetle convertible, seeing the fields of corn and country houses that she loved, brings tears to my eyes.  I spent a couple of nights at her dad's as Cevyn had gone there post op.  Brendan went home for the night as he had work in the morning and it would have taken him 2 hors to get there from Harvey's.  I got to sleep in the room with the babies so that they didn't climb all over Cevyn.  They can now climb out of the playpens that they use for beds.

I know I am babbling.  

We visited Lisa at the cemetery.  We had a cry, left her a fall ornament.  There is a baby buried next to her who was a bit younger than the girls when she died. We always stop to see her too.  I can only imagine how her parents felt when she died, and still feel.  She died in 2006.

Lisa's home has changed.  Beth is an immaculate housekeeper and likes to decorate especially for the holidays.  It is ready for Halloween.  Lisa would roll her eyes if she saw her house now.  She'd be saying "That's Beth for you".  

When Lisa and Harvey moved there, they had a big empty 2 acre lot.  They dug up little trees and planted them at the back of the lot.  They were about a foot tall and we wondered if they would survive.  They thrived and are huge now.  They are as she imagined, way back then.

It hurts so much that she isn't here.  I miss her more than I can say.

One last thing, on a happier note:  We spent a couple of evenings with a good friend who we met in Istanbul several years ago.  She is originally from Washington State.  Winona spent several years teaching English in Turkey, and then one in China.  When she went back home, she felt out of place.  Her world view had changed from those of her friends and relatives.  I invited her to come and stay with us.  She stayed for 3 months.  She spent the time looking at options for her life.  She decided that she needed a job that allowed her freedom.  She found jobs teaching English on line to Chinese children.  It is all night work but she loves it.  

When she left us, she moved to Puerta Vallarta and loves it.  She was not a fan of winter in Canada!  Anyway, she met a girl from Stittsville (just outside of Ottawa, and where we are staying) and I saw on FB that she was here!  She and Shari had been to Scotland and she was spending a couple of weeks before heading home to Mexico. She should be in the air now.  We had a great time at an open mike night last evening.  

Life is a series of ups and downs.  I am quite used to the roller coaster.  But did I say I miss Lisa???

Lisa:  I am sure you are watching over those beautiful girls.  I just wish you were here to cuddle them and see them grow.  They are missing out too.  I know what a phenomenal grandma you would be.  I miss you always and love you forever.  Mummy