Odd Turn Of Events........
Well, the past 24 hours have hosted some very odd turn of events between my ex-fiance and myself.
I very much suspect that I perhaps may not be the only one dealing with "honesty issues" here. My ex-fiance and I talked last night, the topic of our relationship came up, and I was blown away that she would even utter the words of possible future reconciliations. Within these past several weeks from the time she called it quits on us, to now, she's been super confused and angry and frustrated with how this all turned out.
But she did let it slip out that the love she feels for me didn't stop, and she still does still care about me and my well being. She told me that she might have been a little hasty with displaying negative emotions and feeling my way. For weeks she's been trying to convince herself that I was no better than the devil and needed to be gotten away from.
This is where her possible honesty issues arises, she admitted kind of lying to me about how she truly feels, out of fear, frustrations and confusions. After admitting that she's been in conflict with herself and not conveying those feelings in an honest and appropriate manner, then she said something that I thought I would never hear from her mouth. She told me that since going to my first support group meeting, and since joining Liars Anonymous here on-line, she has noticed a slight change with me. She admitted that she's slightly believing a little bit more that comes out of my mouth, due to the fact that several lies have been told to her since she called it quits, but the change she see's is the fact within a short period of time, I am approaching her and requesting to talk, and during the talks, coming clean about the lie I just told. She's slightly impressed.
Doing the work, and taking my first baby steps in recovery, have given my ex-fiance a glimmer of hope. She appreciated the slight increase in the amount of honesty coming out of my mouth, she very much appreciates it when I do lie, that in short order I do come clean about it and tell the truth. This made her say something last night that shocked the hell out of me! She told me to not get all offended or get angry with what she was about to say, but she told me that she's still boarding her plane around 11:30pm on August 2nd and heading back to Ohio to be with her parents. But, she (( does now want to remain in contact with each other )), this is a bold change from being told "never talk to me again"!
Also, even though she going back home, she isn't unwilling that at some point down the road to possibly give us another try again. She told me it's going to take a good long while, she told me that she recognizes the hard work I'm currently doing, but admits that there is tons more work that is required until at some point in the future that she'll feel comfortable about us again. She in a positive manner told me that after she's gone to continue with my weekly support group meetings, and perhaps investigate as to see if there's more in my area I can go. She told me nicely, to continue coming here to Liars Anonymous and just keep pouring yourself out to those people and listen to good advice when it comes. And the final thing she told me, that she thinks might be a good thing to do, is at some point, through being honest, try to work on healing some of the damage I've done upon friends and family.
Also, my ex-fiance was honest about something, that I'm not 100% of the reason as to why she wants to leave and go back to Ohio. For starters she's very home sick, she wants to be there for her parents who are going through some of the darkest times in their lives, she wants to help get the house back on it's feet and some what stable, if that be assisting in paying the bills, helping with paying the rent, doing the household grocery shopping ect. ect. ect.
Plus she admitted that due to the events of our relationship, and how it all tuned out in a negative sort of way, she really needs to go back home at a minimum of 2 to 4 months and as she says......"get her feet back into bed rock"! So while she's back home helping out, being there for her parents, helping paying some of the bills and food costs, I will remain in Sacramento and work hard on staying and progressing down my road of recovery and try to get batter, not just for her, but more importantly, for myself. She'll keep tabs on me through various friends that she's made while living here, some are my friends as well, so she'll be able to get honest status reports about how I'm doing from these people. She also will keep in contact with me by phone and text, and said she wouldn't be against that occasional "skype video call'!
So there we are, in 24 hours time, things changed in a rather bizarre way! I've gone from hopelessness to at least now seeing a faint sliver of light of hope down the end of a super long tunnel in regards to possibly being to get back with my ex-fiance. But I've been seriously warned, the possibility of getting back together at some point is very much dependent upon me continuing to work on myself and trying to get better. She says not having her around should make forward progress more efficient and quicker, less distractions, less aggravations and less chance of slip up's with her.
But there's one final catch to all of this, seeing that she up rooted her life 13 months ago and flew here to Sacramento to be with me, she made it perfectly clear, that if there's going to be a next time, which she is now optimistic that there will be, that she's not coming back here, nope, ain't going to happen! If there's to be a next time, she told me that I will have to come to her and move to Ohio, where we'll rejoin each other and give things another run, and with me, a much more "being an honest person" run!
I'm optimistic about all of this as well, but realize that I do have to be honest with myself and just say........"we will have to see'!
I very much suspect that I perhaps may not be the only one dealing with "honesty issues" here. My ex-fiance and I talked last night, the topic of our relationship came up, and I was blown away that she would even utter the words of possible future reconciliations. Within these past several weeks from the time she called it quits on us, to now, she's been super confused and angry and frustrated with how this all turned out.
But she did let it slip out that the love she feels for me didn't stop, and she still does still care about me and my well being. She told me that she might have been a little hasty with displaying negative emotions and feeling my way. For weeks she's been trying to convince herself that I was no better than the devil and needed to be gotten away from.
This is where her possible honesty issues arises, she admitted kind of lying to me about how she truly feels, out of fear, frustrations and confusions. After admitting that she's been in conflict with herself and not conveying those feelings in an honest and appropriate manner, then she said something that I thought I would never hear from her mouth. She told me that since going to my first support group meeting, and since joining Liars Anonymous here on-line, she has noticed a slight change with me. She admitted that she's slightly believing a little bit more that comes out of my mouth, due to the fact that several lies have been told to her since she called it quits, but the change she see's is the fact within a short period of time, I am approaching her and requesting to talk, and during the talks, coming clean about the lie I just told. She's slightly impressed.
Doing the work, and taking my first baby steps in recovery, have given my ex-fiance a glimmer of hope. She appreciated the slight increase in the amount of honesty coming out of my mouth, she very much appreciates it when I do lie, that in short order I do come clean about it and tell the truth. This made her say something last night that shocked the hell out of me! She told me to not get all offended or get angry with what she was about to say, but she told me that she's still boarding her plane around 11:30pm on August 2nd and heading back to Ohio to be with her parents. But, she (( does now want to remain in contact with each other )), this is a bold change from being told "never talk to me again"!
Also, even though she going back home, she isn't unwilling that at some point down the road to possibly give us another try again. She told me it's going to take a good long while, she told me that she recognizes the hard work I'm currently doing, but admits that there is tons more work that is required until at some point in the future that she'll feel comfortable about us again. She in a positive manner told me that after she's gone to continue with my weekly support group meetings, and perhaps investigate as to see if there's more in my area I can go. She told me nicely, to continue coming here to Liars Anonymous and just keep pouring yourself out to those people and listen to good advice when it comes. And the final thing she told me, that she thinks might be a good thing to do, is at some point, through being honest, try to work on healing some of the damage I've done upon friends and family.
Also, my ex-fiance was honest about something, that I'm not 100% of the reason as to why she wants to leave and go back to Ohio. For starters she's very home sick, she wants to be there for her parents who are going through some of the darkest times in their lives, she wants to help get the house back on it's feet and some what stable, if that be assisting in paying the bills, helping with paying the rent, doing the household grocery shopping ect. ect. ect.
Plus she admitted that due to the events of our relationship, and how it all tuned out in a negative sort of way, she really needs to go back home at a minimum of 2 to 4 months and as she says......"get her feet back into bed rock"! So while she's back home helping out, being there for her parents, helping paying some of the bills and food costs, I will remain in Sacramento and work hard on staying and progressing down my road of recovery and try to get batter, not just for her, but more importantly, for myself. She'll keep tabs on me through various friends that she's made while living here, some are my friends as well, so she'll be able to get honest status reports about how I'm doing from these people. She also will keep in contact with me by phone and text, and said she wouldn't be against that occasional "skype video call'!
So there we are, in 24 hours time, things changed in a rather bizarre way! I've gone from hopelessness to at least now seeing a faint sliver of light of hope down the end of a super long tunnel in regards to possibly being to get back with my ex-fiance. But I've been seriously warned, the possibility of getting back together at some point is very much dependent upon me continuing to work on myself and trying to get better. She says not having her around should make forward progress more efficient and quicker, less distractions, less aggravations and less chance of slip up's with her.
But there's one final catch to all of this, seeing that she up rooted her life 13 months ago and flew here to Sacramento to be with me, she made it perfectly clear, that if there's going to be a next time, which she is now optimistic that there will be, that she's not coming back here, nope, ain't going to happen! If there's to be a next time, she told me that I will have to come to her and move to Ohio, where we'll rejoin each other and give things another run, and with me, a much more "being an honest person" run!
I'm optimistic about all of this as well, but realize that I do have to be honest with myself and just say........"we will have to see'!
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