odd day
I didnt start moving around till 12:30pm, washed clothes and dishes, made beds, washed hair. Thats it. Measured my meal, cup of carbs. And coffee. Thats it till dinner. I want to loose weight but I need to move. I cant think of what to do. Everyone in my house is doing their thing.I just seem to be stuck. I feel out of place. I am going to try to go to my moms tomorrow. I just cant leave the house today. Ocd thing is bothering me. I need something new, but dont want to start smoking again. I need to add something to my life. My husband I know he wont let me start a gym membership. He will say I can work out at home, but it won't work out. I just can't work out at home. I have old videos but dont want to use them. I will be in everyones way. I dont want anyone to see me work out. And my anxiety wont allow me to walk alone. I have no neighbors who stay home who would walk with me. I feel odd and alone today. The house is too quiet .
I feel like in my head I want to smoke or go crazy so someone would understand my mood swings. I want a cigarette today. I want a tattoo, I want to peirce my nose today. I want to get drunk, but I know none of these things will help me. I go through the emotions in my head, and I ask God for help. I know none of these things will help me, only God can. I am odds today.. I am lonely today. Alone in my head. Tv only helps for a short time. I wanted to go shopping for thanksgiving but, my husband said not yet. My whole shopping day yesterday, was all for what he wanted and likes. I always have to buy what he wants. I cant get anything I like. I just want to be able to try new things.
I am only here to do things for others. Is that why I am here? I dont understand times. I take meds to function an do for everybody, to stay normal.. I must stay where eveyone else wants me to be I guess. I am odd, I dont fit in. I just sit here waiting. I dont know what for, but someone knows up there. I just feel odd God. I feel out of place.
I feel like in my head I want to smoke or go crazy so someone would understand my mood swings. I want a cigarette today. I want a tattoo, I want to peirce my nose today. I want to get drunk, but I know none of these things will help me. I go through the emotions in my head, and I ask God for help. I know none of these things will help me, only God can. I am odds today.. I am lonely today. Alone in my head. Tv only helps for a short time. I wanted to go shopping for thanksgiving but, my husband said not yet. My whole shopping day yesterday, was all for what he wanted and likes. I always have to buy what he wants. I cant get anything I like. I just want to be able to try new things.
I am only here to do things for others. Is that why I am here? I dont understand times. I take meds to function an do for everybody, to stay normal.. I must stay where eveyone else wants me to be I guess. I am odd, I dont fit in. I just sit here waiting. I dont know what for, but someone knows up there. I just feel odd God. I feel out of place.
Replies
Sounds like you are in a bad situation for yourself, sorry for that, talk to me if it helps, I know how you feel about not going out alone, I have the same problem, and no one to come with me. I work out a lone at home when I can usually first thing in the morning after breakfast. If however I have to go out that morning I dont, I do some yoga, and a few stomach crunches in the evening. I count calories, which is working for me, I use slim fast shakes for one meal, I\'ve lost about 8 pounds which I am pleased with.
Wishing you well and hope you feel better soon
Claire