October 5, 2013
Today started well. David had to go to a team building thing for work, so I spent the day with the kids. My mom, the kids and I went to the farmers market, we came home, I put beef stew in the crockpot for dinner and we made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.
The kids were frustrating. Kind of trapped inside, it rained really hard and on and off all day. They played and helped clean. They didn't listen, but they are small and all of them are getting over being sick (ear infection, sinus infection and a general cold)I know to expect that.
After David came home, we went to run some errands. Menards and then off to Pick N Save. At Menards I started to have some indigestion (tacos w/hot sauce for lunch). I tried so hard not to let it carry itself forward, but before I knew it I was sweating, had some shortness of breath and became convinced that I was having a heart attack/dying right there. We left and my husband (who is trying to prove to me that I am fine) insists we just pick up the few things we need at Pick N Save. We all go in. I don't want to be in the car without him, I am too afraid. In the store it gets much worse. From the moment we walk in, I am almost in tears. I am convinced I am going to drop dead right on the floor. We make our way through, and then I can't anymore. I double over, crying. Convinced everyone at the store hates me, and the store seems too big. I just want to go home, I just want to go home. I can't look at anyone. My 6 year old comforts me. I am so ashamed of what I have become.
The kids were frustrating. Kind of trapped inside, it rained really hard and on and off all day. They played and helped clean. They didn't listen, but they are small and all of them are getting over being sick (ear infection, sinus infection and a general cold)I know to expect that.
After David came home, we went to run some errands. Menards and then off to Pick N Save. At Menards I started to have some indigestion (tacos w/hot sauce for lunch). I tried so hard not to let it carry itself forward, but before I knew it I was sweating, had some shortness of breath and became convinced that I was having a heart attack/dying right there. We left and my husband (who is trying to prove to me that I am fine) insists we just pick up the few things we need at Pick N Save. We all go in. I don't want to be in the car without him, I am too afraid. In the store it gets much worse. From the moment we walk in, I am almost in tears. I am convinced I am going to drop dead right on the floor. We make our way through, and then I can't anymore. I double over, crying. Convinced everyone at the store hates me, and the store seems too big. I just want to go home, I just want to go home. I can't look at anyone. My 6 year old comforts me. I am so ashamed of what I have become.
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