October 28, 2010 Mammo/Nephrologist appts
Good afternoon everyone, Sorry, this is a red journal day (sorry denny!). It has been a very busy few days. had 2 appts in a row. Hate when that happens. Yesterday, I had my 6 month mammo. I had my mother come and meet me there. She came by herself, thought dad would have come with her but she drove herself - 3 weeks postop. Thats a long drive. She certainly is a trouper. If I lived back in Lackawanna again, I would have just had her come to my place and go together. We live in 2 different directions. Anyways - Went to see the radiology medicine (where I had my radiation). They liked the way the lumpectomy incision looked. You could barely tell between the 2 breasts. Then I went to mammo, The nurse that did the mammo was around my age and she was very nice. I am small breasted so I actually had to throw my whole body in so she could get pics. There was 3 other women waiting for their mammos too out in the patient waiting room (mom was in the waiting, waiting room). there was 2 women named Joanne, we did laugh because when one would say Joanne, they would both stand up..LOL!! I came out to the waiting room and waited for them. She called me back in and said they needed my left breast taken again, 3 pics. I started to get really nervous because they were taking the left side, did they find somethng? Damn, that really hurt. I was seeing stars before but I actually felt like I was gonna faint this time. She got them and told me to take a seat. They called me back in about 5 minutes but it wasn't to go back and take more pics - this time it was the ultrasound room. I really started to panic BIGTIME! as soon as my mammo nurse left to get the radiologist, I started to get really upset while I was in the room by myself. I couldn't hide the fact that I was so she did the ultrasound while I was crying. She got what she needed and said to me that there was something suspicious on the left breast. A probable mass or tumor and that they have to BIOPSY it. Damn, I completely broke down and had a look of shock that could kill anyone. I know it could be nothing but after what I went through a year ago (actually the biopsy when I had the breast cancer on the right breast was a year ago this week), I don't want to take any chances that it might not. I am using reverse psychology and thinking it is something - then maybe it won't be anything. If I think its not, then there is something. At this point, I don't know what to think about this whole situation. I made my biopsy appt for next wednesday 11/3. They told me its not a big probable mass/tumor. Its completely different than what I went through earlier this year, the right breast cancer was calcification but this is an actual tumor (like the REAL breast cancer that could spread). Not that ductal breast cancer wasn't the real thing, it is. This would be classified different. Lets cross our finger that the biopsy is negative and that I can continue on my path of being cancer free. Damn...I am so upset over this still. I didn't sleep too much last night. Its just not fair! I am on tamoxifen and this med is suppose to keep any breast cancer from coming back. They told me its very rare that it would happen this way (cancer in both breasts). Tamoxifen isn't always foolproof and I was the exception. I feel like I got jipped. I am not looking forward to getting this biopsy done. Mom was so great about this whole thing. She knows that I am very strong willed and is positive. I don't feel very positive right now.
anyways, I had my nephrologist appt today with Dr Ryan. Today was his 53rd birthday. He was actually in a really good mood. We went over the blood tests and it looks like my creatinine level went down to 1.3 but my GFr level (kidney) is 44. He said not to worry about the kidney #. Its still good for me, stable. that creatinine level is excellent. What I noticed that the creatinine level does a lot of changing. We were concerned about the vit D levels (19). So, he prescribed me a prescription form of Vit D that is much stronger. I need to pick up the lisinopril and will pick up both. My BP is pretty good, 120/80 sitting, 118/82 standing. They like to take it sitting and standing like that makes a huge difference. Overall, he was very pleased with everything and told me that I will start the 6 month followup appts now. I won't have to go back until May. He did give me another 24 hr urine script to be done sometime in April. Also, he asked me about the urine colposcopy bladder test by the urologist. I told him that I never had one done yet. He ordered a urine cup test and if that test reveals that I still have blood in the urine - I would have to call the urologist (I already have one and he's been getting my blood results). We'll see what happens with that. I had my 2nd 24 hr urine test but the urine test (the brown jug) didn't arrive in his office yet - the blood work did. The girls in the lab said it wasn't ready yet and it would take time (probably a week).
Anyways, I will be going to dinner with my friend from HS tonight. It will be good to see him again. We known eachother since we were 7 and 8 years old. It will be nice to get out for a few hours. Especially with everything I have been through in the past week or so (grandma, aunt judy and me!). After that I will pick up my pills and buy my chocolate holloween candy tonight (I almost said easter..LOL!!) and my chocolate fix for this weekend. I will be going to Johnstown PA with my friend Tom for the weekend, just to get away. He is on vacation (he's got property down there). So I will be following him down with the walkie talkies. I can't even be silly with him on them, he turns it off and only talks when he needs to. I will drive myself back on the 31st. Hopefully the trick or treaters will be around. Kevin, my landlord is still out of the country and my friend Deb never stays around for the trick or treaters. She doesn't know either (she lives in the area).
anyways, I had my nephrologist appt today with Dr Ryan. Today was his 53rd birthday. He was actually in a really good mood. We went over the blood tests and it looks like my creatinine level went down to 1.3 but my GFr level (kidney) is 44. He said not to worry about the kidney #. Its still good for me, stable. that creatinine level is excellent. What I noticed that the creatinine level does a lot of changing. We were concerned about the vit D levels (19). So, he prescribed me a prescription form of Vit D that is much stronger. I need to pick up the lisinopril and will pick up both. My BP is pretty good, 120/80 sitting, 118/82 standing. They like to take it sitting and standing like that makes a huge difference. Overall, he was very pleased with everything and told me that I will start the 6 month followup appts now. I won't have to go back until May. He did give me another 24 hr urine script to be done sometime in April. Also, he asked me about the urine colposcopy bladder test by the urologist. I told him that I never had one done yet. He ordered a urine cup test and if that test reveals that I still have blood in the urine - I would have to call the urologist (I already have one and he's been getting my blood results). We'll see what happens with that. I had my 2nd 24 hr urine test but the urine test (the brown jug) didn't arrive in his office yet - the blood work did. The girls in the lab said it wasn't ready yet and it would take time (probably a week).
Anyways, I will be going to dinner with my friend from HS tonight. It will be good to see him again. We known eachother since we were 7 and 8 years old. It will be nice to get out for a few hours. Especially with everything I have been through in the past week or so (grandma, aunt judy and me!). After that I will pick up my pills and buy my chocolate holloween candy tonight (I almost said easter..LOL!!) and my chocolate fix for this weekend. I will be going to Johnstown PA with my friend Tom for the weekend, just to get away. He is on vacation (he's got property down there). So I will be following him down with the walkie talkies. I can't even be silly with him on them, he turns it off and only talks when he needs to. I will drive myself back on the 31st. Hopefully the trick or treaters will be around. Kevin, my landlord is still out of the country and my friend Deb never stays around for the trick or treaters. She doesn't know either (she lives in the area).
Replies
Whow Jen, sounds as if you had quite a day and know that I\'am thinking and praying for you that this will truly be \"nothing.\" Things are just happening aren\'t they? Someone is keeping you on your toes, for sure!
lots of love,
Norma...
I am so sorry to hear how tough it is for you right now. There\'s just not any words that I can think of that can soothe your soul. I do care. And I will be praying and I pray you have the strength to face whatever comes. Hey, one way to look at it is it didn\'t get you last time, it won\'t get you this time. You\'re still here to fight!
I had no idea what you\'ve been going through. Im sorry. I dont read a lot of journals unless someone asks me to. Im a very slow reader so i cant get to too many of them but yours just stuck out & something told me to read it all the way through. Im sure its very frustrating not knowing whats going on *that i can relate to*. PLEASE keep me informed, send me a PM so i know to read your journal.
Love ya
Cathy
I will cross my fingers and say a prayer for you, I hope that the biopsy is negative and that you are cancer free.
What stage and grade was your breast cancer? I know that you didn\'t have chemo , so it must be very low grade and stage 1...???
Love,
Maxine
I\'m praying for you, my sweet friend...I\'m hoping for the best news, but even if it\'s not, you are strong enough to handle anything they throw at you....
Hi Jen, god bless your heart. my family and i are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers, and very close within our hearts, hoping and praying that you are alright, and that your test results come back with great results. i\'m going to say a prayer for you angel. wishing you comfort, healing, and peace. we\'re sending our very best positive healing energy, and well wishes. keep strong, and continue to take very good care. we\'re so very proud of you for keeping strong, and keeping surrounded by love, care, and support. That\'s very nice, that you and your friend are going out to enjoy a nice dinner, and that you and your friend are going to enjoy a nice trip this weekend. :) treat yourself to nice rest, and relaxation. You all have been through a very rough, and sad week, and deserve nice time to replenish energy, with relaxation, and to restore and rejuvenate spirit. :) we care deeply about you and your family. You all are very close within our heart. :) We send our love, warm friendship wishes, caring thoughts, many healing blessings, and lots of super big happy friendship hugs, from CT. :) Take care, have a peaceful evening and night. :)
I am so sorry you are going through all these health issues and the pain adds to them. My prayers are with you, sweet Jen.
Hugs and prayers Jenn. So sorry you have to go through all this...not fun not fair. just painful and scary. Any one man or woman has a hard time holding in the tears when we learn of bad or potentially bad news. Some times for me anyway the not knowing is the hardest part. Last winter when I was in the middle of a divorce I was also in the midst of testing and uncertainties whether I had a good sized cancerous tumor in my left kidney. I had many days were I would just break down mentally overloaded with grief from losing my wife, grief and fear of the unknown. Am I going to die in a few weeks? Is it really going to be cancer? All these questions and I had my doctor put me on Librium to help me stay calm on my bad days. I know how scary it was for me so I cant say I know how you feel but I can say IO know how I felt and I felt like hell! Hun hang in there. You\'re in my prayers and thoughts. Go have a great time with your friend and don\'t be afraid to take your anxiety medicine when you need it thats what its there for and it can be a life saver at times. Just reading your journal brought tears to my eyes for you. Get well and be well.
xo
Elta
thank you everyone for the well wishes and prayers. I will take them with me when I go to Roswell for the biopsy. I am still having a hard time accepting that I have to deal with this on my left side now.
That Vit D med cost me 15.00 for a 90 day supply. I have to take this once a week instead of daily. At least I won\'t have to worry about filling it again until late January. Maybe thats why I have been feeling so tired lately. Hope that remedies the issue.