Oct. 27, 2012
I am so exhausted. Way, way beyond tired. Sheer exhaustion. I am depressed at a level I have never experienced. I hurt so bad. I take my fibro meds, add a pain pill and usually some Bayer Back & Body. Still hurt like there are a million knives sticking in me from head to toe.
I can't seem to get my 86 year old Mother to understand I can't run her here, there, everywhere, everyday. She had an appointment almost every day this week with this physician or that one, and the days she didn't, she needed to go here and there. I understand, but honestly, I'm wiped out. And now she wants to start going to the heart fitness center attached to the hospital where she had her open heart surgery 3x a week and guess who is going to go with her? Yep. I think what really aggravates me is one of her dearest friends is going to heart health water aerobics and could pick Mom up and take her, but she doesn't want to 'put her out.'
I am so depressed this morning. I prayed last night I simply wouldn't wake up today. The weather is going through it's usual Mid-West thing of the a/c in the morning, heat in the evening. Now the temps have plunged (no a/c This weekend!) and I am in such serious pain I don't know what I can do other than what I'm doing. I really simply want to go to sleep and sleep . . .
I can't seem to get my 86 year old Mother to understand I can't run her here, there, everywhere, everyday. She had an appointment almost every day this week with this physician or that one, and the days she didn't, she needed to go here and there. I understand, but honestly, I'm wiped out. And now she wants to start going to the heart fitness center attached to the hospital where she had her open heart surgery 3x a week and guess who is going to go with her? Yep. I think what really aggravates me is one of her dearest friends is going to heart health water aerobics and could pick Mom up and take her, but she doesn't want to 'put her out.'
I am so depressed this morning. I prayed last night I simply wouldn't wake up today. The weather is going through it's usual Mid-West thing of the a/c in the morning, heat in the evening. Now the temps have plunged (no a/c This weekend!) and I am in such serious pain I don't know what I can do other than what I'm doing. I really simply want to go to sleep and sleep . . .
Replies
Oh dear, Karen. You are so worn out. Please tell mom that she is going to have to go with her friend to heart health. I think you are depressed because you are all stressed out from too much running around. It is more than you can take. I have suffered with depression for many years. Stress makes it way worse. Take care.
Thanks, Idajoy, I\'ll try. These stupid tears are getting to me. I thought I was crying for no reason until I wrote all this down today. Thank you ~K
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Dear Karen, I am sending you many thoughts and prayers. Contact your local senior center and you may be able to find programs for transportation to assist you. Perhaps they have other people going to the heart exercise class and already have it arranged for others. Because this is such a silent disability it can be deceiving and people don\'t understand. Do you have other siblings or relatives that can help you? Maybe you could call the friend of our mother\'s and ask her to help drive your mother, she might actually like the company. It is hard because in a perfect world we would still like to do everything we did, but in our real world it isn\'t possible. Do what you feel you can do and then start looking for people to help. I wish I could do more but all I do is send big gentle hugs and prayers your way....
thank you for responding to my post. I\'ll give your suggestions a try - but I have One Stubborn Mom! lol