Oct.26th Feeling Awful Tonight.

There isn't any words I can say to bring you back, there isn't any action I can take to make your heart feel as it once has. There isn't a song I can sing, not enough gold or money in this world to buy a life-long amount of happiness, there isn't even a wish I could make to get you back in my arms, but I can tell you one thing & that is I love you eternally...no matter how hard you try to run away, no matter how you try to cover me up with someone else it is still there. There is no escaping the elements of true love. It just lives inside the one who is hurt & it never dies... even though we will never get back to who we were there isn't a person in this world who can replace how I once felt it was real & it was beautiful. Now it's gone into a different dimension. & my only wish is to live in that demension where things were beautiful when I had you & I had love. I think about you everyday & everynight & when I dream of you I curse the second I wake up I just want to sleep forever... Things are different now. They're worse... We live in an ugly world & I think about the words & mistakes I've made & how they've pushed you away. I wasn't a smart boy. I was foolish & unwise not knowing my consequences would be to lose you forever. If what's inside me is real I will hold onto it as long as it takes, but if not I will go down with this feeling in my heart... I will put my guns up & surrender there will be no white-flag in my resistance to you. I will always keep my promise...To always stay committed to my one true love.
I don't know why I write these things, but all I know is I am so broken hearted & I have no idea why. I've tried "moving-on". I've erased all the numbers, told myself a million times she hates me, and still I am here fighting these feelings in my heart. I want them to go away I am done thinking about what happened I just want to be happy with someone else I don't know why I am like this :/