Obsessed
this anxiety that I wake up with every day I don't know what to do about it. It seemed I had it under control for a short time after Ken passed. I think it has come full force back now do to almost nightly call from the nursing home about my mom sometimes serious, sometimes not but when the phone calls come late at night of course it scares me, just brings back all the phone calls. The most that seems to be bothering me is thinking of death what happens...where do we go. Where is Ken. I am overly obsessed and know it. I have always been of Christian faith and believe in afterlife. I try to constantly understand now. Some teaches we sleep until the end of time. Some teach we go to Heaven when we die which is what I was taught. There are many teaching. I know death is no option yet I feel it just seems a waste for someone young with so much ability. We just lost a man in our community same age as Ken was. I knew him. He had surgery on the 11 of August went home something happened he died, they brought him back, put on vent died a few days later.. It has bothered me greatly. Then I see my body has aged so much seems overnight my arms look like moms. I know being depressed does not help. I can not change the past...I have never been one that gets into depression. Bored yes but this I know is different. I know some says medicine but I can't take anything. I don't care if I eat. Don't even want to. Seems I am so backwards from where I thought I had come. Another thing that I feel is the loss of friends. It seems that we have friends and then they go a different route. It is to me like another loss. I have a friend from years ago that wants to do things together but if we pick up our friendship then it ends just another loss. I think that is whyI am so obsessed with things going wrong my thoughts just don't stop.
how to change the thought process. Worrying over things I can't change.. thanks for letting me vent...
how to change the thought process. Worrying over things I can't change.. thanks for letting me vent...
Replies
By all means, go places with your friend. Live in the present. Don\'t worry about the future which we don\'t know and probably never will. We are not meant to.
oh yes, Sandi,, go places with your friend..... you need some happiness and friendship... love ya!
Oh Sandi. You sound clinically depressed. The anxiety you are feeling is dreadful. I believe you should see a counselor (I can\'t remember if you have been to one). It is too bad that you are unable to take medication. It keeps me on an even keel. I still miss Lisa terribly, cry a bit almost daily and I too wonder about the \'other side\'. I do believe our kids are together, out of pain and are happy.
I am working at living in the now. Enjoying life as best I can with a hole in my heart.
I worry about you Sandi.
Huge caring hugs.
Love, Marlene
I am feeling the same way as you do, and I just don\'t know what to do about it. I am taking anti-depressants, but they don\'t seem to help. I believe that our spirit return to God, our Creator, when we die. I believe that my precious angel, Colleen, is with Jesus now, and oneday I will join her in heaven.
Loving hugs to you, my friend! xxx
I needed to leave my house and be with people so I went to a neighborhood community center, nearly every day. Used the gym, took yoga, made friends, just got to be with other people. Even take community college classes. Just so as not to be alone, and with so much angst.
Now, four years later, I can stay home more. I did and do see a therapist, and they are helpful. Always learning keeps my mind busy and active. I had a late night phone call the other night, and jumped out of my skin. Thank G-d, it was just my husband\'s client. Took me a while to calm down.
That\'s just the way it is for me. I still need to be with people when I\'m able. Today my stomach was hurting so badly, I had to stay home. Hoping you can find distractions, maybe a pet? Love, Abby
Sandi, our sisters have good suggestions. I just want to say that we shouldn\'t put all our eggs in one basket. So many things help depending on the day. Have you seen the nurturing list on the discussion page? It is truly a great help.
One thing that I think is important is that each of us handles our journey in our own way. So be kind to yourself. Be positive with your praise of whatever you can do. Each day will be a little bit better when you can handle it. Remember you have been through the worst so it can only get better from now on. I am pulling for us, we have to just keep trying each day.
This past month, we lost 4 young men ages 19, 20 & 21. Our community is reeling from the hurt. There are no words, only love will get us over this.
Ken as well as my girls want us to live, we have to honor them and live for them. Join me in this task. Hugs and love to you, Kathy
The other soth have made excellent suggestions. I have little to add. I will say, you need a friend to go places with, talk to and share things with. If this one doesn\'t last, you move onto the next one. Shutting yourself off from everyone is one of my faults. I am working on it. Step out in faith and give this friend a chance...
((((HUGS))))....Julia
It takes every effort I have to want to do anything. I stay on the computer a lot. Quit playing music at church. Take a nap wake up feeling the anxious. I guess I probably need to talk to someone. I was doing okay it seemed. Now getting close t 5 years and I have retreated. Some I think that has brought it on is the phone calls I get from mom\'s nursing home and they always scare me. They seem to come at night. Some I want to make changes which we were now we are not which would have probably been a bad ideal. Gosh, I just don\'t know.
Did you find the nurturing list? I hope so. Peace, Kathy
You sound like you need to talk to a professional. When you stop living something is wrong. I do agree with everyone, talk to someone try medications begin to live again.
Keep us posted
big bear hugs
Penny