Observations on alone

So I went to the little Lions club fair last night all alone. I felt a little sad and lonely but at the same time it seemed like an adventure.
I first stopped by the ambulance crew and asked them if they remembered me. I showed them my thumb and we talked about it. I ended up thanking them for being so quick and so caring.
Next stop was the show tent and there was a beauty contest going on.  Farm queen er something like that. All the contestants, one at a time, had to walk across the stage and stop in front of the MC to answer a question. I already had my winner picked in my mind but I knew she would never get chosen. 
My winner was a girl who was a little overweight, looked down alot, forgot her speech at times, however she DID answer the question.  It was easy to see she had low self esteem, and a poor self concept.  Surely enough, the winner was someone else!
I was thinking that we all need our day on stage to a standing ovation.  Something we can look back on with pride knowing that our peers think we are really something special!  
I remembered my day came when I was at an AA meeting celebrating my first year clean and sober.  I had to get up to accept a reward and say a few words.  I looked over the crowd and was amazed at all the people who showed up there to help me celebrate, most of them I didn't even know!
As I was speaking, my eyes picked out some familiar faces in the crowd. My sponser for one, my counselors who were a huge help to me, and some iop friends I made during my treatment. I thanked them all by name, and I thanked the rest collectively.  Much of the cake was gone by the end of the meeting but I took what was left home.  I don't remember the wife being very impressed for some reason.
 
I left the beauty page before it ended and wandered over to the puppet man!  This guy is pretty clever.  Makes his own marrionettes, records his own music and writes his own scripts!  He comes every year and I never tire of watching him.  I couldn't help but think, how many times did I feel like someone else was pulling my strings....answer? Too numerous to count.  But I still wish I had someone to share the fair with.  Someone who wouldn't pull my strings but share with me, her innermost thoughts and feelings without trying to manipulate me with feelings of guilt.
After puppet man was done, I walked around, ate some food and bumped into some of my wife's relatives. There was a little boy who wanted to win a bike in the worst way.  So I filled out a bunch of raffle tickets to try to help him but he didn't win, ahh well, I tried!
After the drawing I left.  While I was there, I ate some fried clams, a HUGE donut, and a milkshake, plus I ate a little bit of someone else's bloomin onion.
I guess I had a pretty good time despite feeling more like an observer then a participant.  I played a game and lost.  I didn't keep at it for very long, nor did I feel lucky. I am use to winning stuffed animals for my girl.  But I have to feel lucky.

I am going to the fair again tonite.  It's the only fair I will go to because the money goes to good causes.  I will let you know how it goes.

God Bless!