Nurse here today
Well, the nurse was here today to give her decision about mom going back to the nursing home..She asked very little questions..it was sorta weird that she didn't ask questions...we were expecting things like, what does she do, like the floors..or kind fo work...the only question she asked that I remembered was asking who her doctor was..Now she has been going to this doctor for years and since she took a while to answer it..maybe just by attitude and the long time ti took her to figure it out, maybe that gave her the clue she neeed to be in a nursing home...so now it is wait and see.
My husbad asked what her decision would be and she said she would recommend her to go into the nursing home...asked us a few questions...
I had no ideal I would get as upset as I did...I started crying and walked out with her and told her how hard this was ...just never thought my mom would get ALZ..just never and I guess just been in a lot of denial....Although she has showed symptons of not knowing me and stuff I just never thought she was sick...Today she asked me....Do you know when they change sheets in this place..as if it was a group home..I told her today..she says okay...I can get them and i told her its okay it's my job...she was like it is your job and I sain yes ..she says well that's nice of you...So I know now she just thinks we are someone who cares for people from inbetween going to the nursing home...It is hard knowing there is noting we can do..but I know she was happier at the nursing home....I just hope we get the final decision she said by Wednesday..but as far as she was going to recommend they take her back into the nursing home...Changes...
Exhaustion..Sadness..all combined it is very difficult...Thats for all the thoughts and prayers..Sandi
My husbad asked what her decision would be and she said she would recommend her to go into the nursing home...asked us a few questions...
I had no ideal I would get as upset as I did...I started crying and walked out with her and told her how hard this was ...just never thought my mom would get ALZ..just never and I guess just been in a lot of denial....Although she has showed symptons of not knowing me and stuff I just never thought she was sick...Today she asked me....Do you know when they change sheets in this place..as if it was a group home..I told her today..she says okay...I can get them and i told her its okay it's my job...she was like it is your job and I sain yes ..she says well that's nice of you...So I know now she just thinks we are someone who cares for people from inbetween going to the nursing home...It is hard knowing there is noting we can do..but I know she was happier at the nursing home....I just hope we get the final decision she said by Wednesday..but as far as she was going to recommend they take her back into the nursing home...Changes...
Exhaustion..Sadness..all combined it is very difficult...Thats for all the thoughts and prayers..Sandi
Replies
Sandi, these steps are all very hard.....change is hard anytime, let alone with your loved ones involved. I hope it all goes smoothly for you and that the right decisions are made for your Mom. I\'ll be praying for you!
Becky
I understand your mix of emotion...it is rough to see our parents slowly decline...I sure hope your mom can go back to the nursing home and you can have peace of mind knowing she is getting good care. Best of luck, Rebecca
Continued hugs and positive affirmations sent your way.
Oh Sandi, I feel your emotions and I know just exactly how you feel. On one hand it hurts to think of our Moms being in a Nursing Home, but when you\'ve done all you can and you\'re exhausted and nobody\'s happy, it is time to make a change if you can. I remember thinking the sames thing as you that Mom would be so much better taken care of a the NH because I couldn\'t shower her and shampoo her hair, except for a sponge bath and that waterless shampoo. I had to leave her in a gown so I could change her depends more easily and she wanted to be dressed in \"real\" clothes. THe first morning after she was in the NH, I went to see her. When I started down the hallway, I saw her sitting in her wheelchair, fully dressed and her hair had been washed....I started to cry, because I realized I hadn\'t been able to give her what she needed. I sincerely hope you and your Mom get the help you so desperately need. Your are both in my prayers. Hugs, Joy
Hi Sandi: I am back! I certainly hope your mom goes back to the nursing home, and if she improves, it is only because she is in the nursing home! Please take care of yourself. You must be exhausted, both physically and emotionally.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love and hugs, Marlene
Dear Sandi, I agree with Marlene... it\'s been such a hard stretch and you have tried to keep her safe. No small feat, that! And besides the physical and logistical and medical, what about the emotional journey? Hope that there is light in your day tomorrow as the burden slowly shifts.
LOve, Sarah
Sandi,
Of course you have my prayers. As I told you before, my father in law died of it, my mom died of it and I spent many hours in the units doing animal assisted therapy. I wrote scripts and we put on plays, and then I went on rounds letting the people pet my pack. If you want to share more, catch me on chat or give me a call. It is hard to make peace with it all. My mom and Josh died within 18 months. It so much compounds the grief.
Love ya gal,
Leda
Sandi,
The denial is something very common with this illness...sometimes it shows up as in complete denial sometimes in smaller ways like being irritated with our loved one over something because we just cannot fully comprehend that their brain is diseased....and what it means.....I remember this only too well.....
Try ever so hard NOT to be hard on yourself over anything. It is a huge thing you have done to give your mom a place to be while this NH thing is sorting itself out......but time now for her to be where it is best for her and for you and with today\'s decision, that hopefully will be sooner rather than later....
There does come a point where what was not possible to comprehend or believe or understand changes. Maybe at one point your mom would not have been as happy in a Nursing Home and maybe now she will be...there is companionship and activity and help....
Also your mom would not want to make your very real painful difficulties worse with her care.....no mother wants that for a daughter who is coping with overwhelming grief...
So, it sounds like today\'s decision is one that will help your mother and you...and those are both good things.....
You need your home and life with all the peace and comfort that can be there...
I have a deep wish that comfort and peace may come to you.......hugs....
Dear Sandi, stay strong as your making one of the toughest decisions in your life. I found it terribly difficult to put my mom in a nursing home when the ALZ became to unmanageable. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Marcia
Sandi - it\'s a difficult decision even under the best of circumstances - which this is not. My Mom went into a NH with all her mental capacities intact - now that was a tough sale to get her to go...but, her physical limitations were beyond our capabilities and I honestly believe being there extended her life another ten (10) years. It gave her the opportunity to be mobile and social, again. Our thoughts, prayers and hopes are with you for the best outcome with this difficult decision. Peace.....Suzzanne
One day at a time. Take care. Love, Dawn