Numb

I dont feel anything, i feel like im numb. I have so many positive things happening in my life and yet i feel no excitement towards it all. Some days im hopeful for my future, the hope that i once had of reuniting with my ex is slowly fading. I do think im getting a little better at reverting my thoughts of him into something else although it only lasts a few minutes. I guess my worry is that while the thought of moving on is scary. i always wonder is hes moved on with someone already, but i know that if he has or has not he is entitiled to his own life and actions. my feeling of trying to make sense of what happened is fading. Im learning to live with what is now, it just hurts to know that somone who meant so much now i have to pretend that they dont exist