numb
I know I have to develop a tougher skin but it wasn't easy to take in the first family group therapy meeting we had last night. The counselor said that T was fine until I arrived. He turned his angry on for my benefit. He's still very angry that I believe he should be there and thinks that I instigated and caused this. I told him that I don't have that much power. It was his behaviors that got him there. It didn't matter. My husband is the hero but not in my eyes. He is the one responsible for this. I have to get over this betrayal because it isn't helpful. It's not easy because my husband still plays into our son and his manipulation. It hurts because my husband seems oblivious to my feelings. He makes me feel insignificant. I know .......no one can make you feel anything. It's about me and my insecurities, I suppose..... I know I have to stop this. I made my point that we have to be a united front and that what he did was hurtful. He now concedes that telling my son that he didn't think he needed treatment was wrong. I still don't know if he believes it but it is what it is and he'll have to get over it.
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Hi I am doing okay. I enjoyed myself while up north. Just curious, does your husband say anything to T when he bad mouths you? Are you all getting any one one with a counselor? Sounds like your husband has blinders on and can\'t see the truth. I know I was in denial till I talked to a therapist and saw myself and my reaction to all of it from an objective point of view. My husband wouldn\'t even go to any sessions. In time I hope he sees the picture with new eyes. Good Luck...tonite I\'ll be on the edge of my seat watching the game I have family in Pittsburgh so its been fun.
The reality is that T knows you love him and have stood up against him; yet still a supporter. I bet that he doesn\'t have the same confidence in your husband though -- the fist fights, the wishy washy positions; perhaps deep down T believes that his dad will turn on him too.......is therapy a waste (money, time) because he\'s a waste.....? Rather dramatic, possibly psycho-babble. When he gets to the other side of the addiction he will SEE how much you have loved him and fought for the intervention he needs; no one else has done as much to help him live!!!!!!!!! I am sorry that you are having to take the brunt of this!!!!!!!
Focus on healing yourself; work, workout, education and love from others to sustain you during this time!!!! Take Care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!