Now I know why

Yesterday I let this whole situation get the best of me.  I was so down that even when my husband came home he noticed it.  I just couldn't help it.  In fact, the health teacher at my son's high school invited me yesterday to come and talk to him and during the conversation, I cried.  He invited me because said he had some ideas on how to fund raise for the suicide prevention walk for next year but I knew that that wasn't the main reason.   I wrote an e-mail to him apologizing  for my reaction to the class's lack of interest in the walk.  I had asked, at the end of my talk, if there was anyone interested in joining the group to stand up.  One student did.  I was embarassed for the student and myself.  I presented to another class earlier and even though they didn't end up signing up, at least, they politely stood up.   Anyway, I reacted by walking to the student who stood alone and gave  him a lifesaver candy - saying that he was the only one who would get one.  I think it was transparent that I was upset (I never did find out if he noticed).  So.......when I wrote an e-mail to the teacher I told him that my overreaction really wasn't about the cause but about my son and what had been going on that day with him.   I know that that was the reason he wanted to talk to me.  He said he had a difficult class.  This is a freshmen class and there were about 9 he knows who abuse drugs.  One girl, that very day, complained to him that two other girls were out to get her - drug related.  So that explains a lot.  I think he wanted to vent as much as me.  Unbelievable!  And this school has a very impressive academic reputation.  And the town?  It's known as Pleasantville.  On the surface - nothing bad happens in our town.  We all know that drugs are everywhere and no town or school is safe from them.  It breaks my heart.  Oh.....one of the reasons I was down yesterday - was because I was investigating some of our options regarding where to send our son, T. by- making calls and trying to figure out what will be best for, not only him, but us.  Unfortunately, I am more confused than ever.  I wanted to talk to my husband about it but when I started - he cut me off.  I now know I have to be patient.  I guess I am just frustrated because I want to talk about this and he doesn't right now. So.........I must pray more and ask God for guidance.  For some reason, I tend to leave Him out of the equation more than I should. BTW - For the suicide prevention walk....we surpassed our goal!  And we have more students than I thought participating....  Not sure if we placed, or not......but that is okay.  Although our dollar amount did not reach what we did last year, it still was pretty decent!