Nott Sure
I have to write all this down so I can go back and read it and see that I'm not just going insane.I am so confused on thing's,Pat has been gone now for almost 21 month's.Still even at 12 month's I was still sure that this all had to be some horrible joke,that he would walk in and say surprise honey I'm home.It never happened and it never will.I have alway's been confused on where me and my 2 (grown practically) kids belong,our home state is MS but we have been in TN for a number of years.Actually Pat died in MS when he went down to get some of our furniture to bring home to TN,he wanted to be buried down there and he is.Our family is down there,we lost my uncle Walter 2 days after Christmas(2012) Now we find out that my father in law has stomach cancer,the operation was a success,but he is 78 and I really am not certain of the outcome on this type of cancer,I heard maybe 5 years,My mother in law will go nuts if he dies,she already lost her first born son(my hubby) and the thought that Bill may die is hurting her even more. My mother is not doing to well with her memory,she is like 79 and may have alzheimers,she will not go find out,she hates doctors and says when the Good Lord want's her he will take her (now I know who I get that from).I have met someone who is special to me,he is a good man,his name is Tim and he treats me great.However I have no real physical attraction to him,I just can't see myself with anyone but Pat,however I do love him and have accepted his proposal,but the wedding will not be till dec 2014,hoping that will give me the time I need to feel better about things.Life is so crazy right now,part of me want's to just give in go to MS take care of the family and other part wants to be in TN and see what happens. My daughter wants to be in TN and graduate in 2 yrs,my autistic son (24) really doesn't care,and me well just CONFUSED!!!!
Replies
Hello Dear One,
It sounds like you are happy in TN if you accepted a wedding proposal, wow congrats and may it be the Lords Will for you. I will be praying that He reveals His will for you and you will know what to do.
I am sorry to hear about your father in law and yes your mother in law will be hurt, prayers he sends comforting Christ filled angels Heavenly and earthly to her aid.
My mom has alzheimer\'s it is hard to hear her speak so confused and here I used to look up to her knowledge.
Prayers for your mom too.
I am sure you will know what to do, if you accepted the proposal the physical attraction part is not what matters.
It is how you feel inside about the soul. Do not compare him to Pat, remember this new man has feelings and a heart and it will weighing on him to know he is second best.
You will be showing it to him even though your saying it. So, be sure of this wedding because it is not only you are trying to find happiness, it is your new man too.
Hugs & God Bless,
Judy
ugh I meant to say
It will be weighing on him to know he is second best.
You will be showing it to him even though your NOT saying it.
I am hardly ever here, but was looking a bit today. I have often thought of you and wondered how you were doing. I do understand being confused. I have been dating and am confused, too! However, I think Judy made a good point, that a new man in your life will not want to be \"second best\" - even though we will never stop missing or loving our dear husbands. Each person deserves to be truly loved. While I do love the man I am with, I am not certain I am \"in love\" - if that even makes sense. I hope you (and your family) are doing okay. Take care, God Bless.