Nothing yet....

So far today I have found nothing. But I have a feeling it will be Friday when I find what I am looking for!(my crown) Went to the district offices to order a transcript from Mesa Community College. Had to go to Mission Valley. Only made one wrong turn an that was the GPS's fault not mine! I practically grew up in the Valley. But street names have been added to the roads and freeways have changed. But I got it done. Then I went to my storage place and got a box and some old clothes that weren't gone through or put away properly, so that I can now do that. Inside the box I found an old Valentine's Day card from my ex. I just started crying. He really must have thought in those days that he did love me. This box had not been opened since 1999. I had to save it. I just can't stop crying over it. I put it away so I won't continue, but just writing about it has started me again. But now I have stopped. Okay so that is about all there is to say. Just wishing one of my children would contact me, but that is pointless, so I will play a few games on the computer and watch some TV and then off to bed.



GPS\'s are good up to a point. They are absolutely no good where I live. They route you around the world to get to me; if they can even find me at all.

It\'s a good thing you knew the area. I still haven\'t learned the new roads that have been built in the next town. I\'ve been on a piece of it one time and I was totally lost.

Old memories can hurt a lot. I\'ve gotten rid of the ones that hurt too much. I did run across a few letters from the ex when he was first in China. I read them and wonder where that man went and why he did the things he did to us.

Yes,you were wise to put that memory away for a while. You aren\'t ready to deal with that hurt yet. I can read the struggle you are going thru with this. I wish I could help ease the pain but I know from experience this is something you just have to work thru. Sending you (((HUGS))) to let you know I hear what you are saying and wish you well and happy in the future.

03/03/2011 1am
Trisha said it all. I guess we all feel the same way \'where did that man go\'.
I\'m also sending you (((Hugs))).

I think it is important for us to eventually find balance. My marriage was full of co-dependency and some really lousy treatment by the STBX towards me.

Do I believe he loved me? yes, however, he has so many problems that I can no longer live with the whole man. I also recognise that I have problems that allowed me to not see it in the beginning and then to put up with far too much once it all started.

Unfortunately, when we are going through the divorce, we start to think that we were never loved and that we are unloveable.

This simply is not true. We were indeed loved and we are loveable. So look on those cards as the good moments in a marriage that indeed did not not work out and had to end.