Nothing Seems to Be Going Right
Wednesday, April 8, 2009 - 11:45 AM It seems as though a lot of things are not going the way I would like them to right now, and this is having a profound worsening effect on my mood. Next Monday morning, I am scheduled to meet my brother in another counseling session. Based upon what happened at the last session, I am not looking forward to continuing in the same vein. Added to that, Dale, my mental health therapist, had told me he wanted to see me before my meeting with my brother. Since only two working days remain before then, I do not see how that will be possible. As much as I really like Dale, it is my impression that he keeps putting me off for some reason. Sometimes I think he has too much of a work load, but if that is the case then I feel that he needs to either cut back somewhere or send me to another therapist. Last week I saw my urologist. I had a good session with him. As it turns out, I do not have any bladder stones. In order to try and get rid of my weekly UTIs, he has put me on a low dose antibiotic, which I am supposed to take for half a year. That should not only knock out my infections, but help prevent me from getting new ones. I am still having a lot of back pain, and am now beginning to believe that I will have to go back into physical therapy again. Although I am taking a painkiller one to four times daily, this does not seem to be solving the problem. Additionally, the pain now seems to have gone into both of my knees as well. The displeasure I have been having with my home healthcare agency continues to exist. I am still working on entering another program so that I will not have to go to a home healthcare agency at all. I am trying to line up the people I would like to take with me, who worked with me before, so that I can be sure of getting good helpers. One CNA plans on having a baby within nine months, another one wants to start working in the mornings, rather then afternoons, and that still leaves three positions to fill. It almost makes me want to change to another home healthcare agency instead, but if I continue going into this new program, I plan on making it mandatory that those who help me in the mornings and evenings are willing to take a dog outside to go to the bathroom. I cannot do that when I go through a regular home healthcare agency. I suspect that all of this has something to do with why I am not very happy with my life. I am beginning to feel as though there are too many problems for me to solve all at one time. Frustrations have also set in regarding some of the changes made here at DS. I get alerts from DS several times a day that say, “Your friend wrote a new journal entry.” The name of a friend is always left out. What is the use of Daily Strength sending out alerts that do not mean anything? Also, when they send out their Community Updates, all the avatars are missing. A small red X is placed several times on the page instead. I wish the people who ran this website would get their act together!
Replies
Clear your internet history cache/cookies. That might take care of the red x\'s.
As to the rest - you have my Mojo. : )
Weebs
Hang in there Jim. all of this will work itself out with time. Many hugs-Stephanie
Jim, no more urinary tract infections is huge progress. I am so glad for that.
I think you are likely more stressed about the counseling session than you allude to. Are you thinking you will have to cancel it? How do you feel about that? It wouldn\'t surprise me one bit if your therapist is overworked. I\'m glad you have us to fall back on.
I think that you do have a wealth of problems that most people don\'t have to endure. It seems so unfair to me. Almost like you are being punished for things that are not your fault.
You inspire me constantly with how you cope and how you work to lift the pain and try and get a better life. I think physiotherapy was helpful and would be good as long as you get a good therapist. I will hope for that today. Hugs to you.
I heard the other day someone said that life is hard. You earn your way out of it. Hang in there, Jim. You are more than half way there.
I have been considering discontinuing my family counseling sessions at the mental health clinic. I do not feel that I am getting very far, and I am very tired of putting up with the crap that I received from my brother. I talked with my psychologist about this on Wednesday, and she said that she wanted me to continue with the sessions. She agreed with Dale that it might take a long time for me to work out most of my problems. As for my brother, she and Dale both seem to think that he wants to control our sessions. I was told that they were not going to let him continue doing so.
I am definitely not looking forward to my session on Monday. My gut feelings tell me that my brother is going to get on my case again. I do not want to start a large, and angry, confrontation with him, so I will try to remain quiet and keep my anger within me, which is not a good thing to do.
Since both of my therapists seem to think that my brother is getting close to the point where he is going to say something that he has been keeping as a secret, I suspect that it will be just as well for me to remain quiet for the time being.
\"I do not want to start a large, and angry, confrontation with him,\"
You won\'t, he starts it, and your \'team\' told you they won\'t let him finish it.
Trust them Jim. Let them handle it, let them WORK FOR YOU. And let them work ALONGSIDE you as you gain more confidence and strength.
I don\'t think you realize how much stronger you sound now, then when we first met. In spite of your anxiety and feeling hesitant, you sound much more clear.
I wondering if you thought feeling that way was going to be some bigger deal that it turns out to be. That happens to me a lot. But then, toward the end, all the little things add up to the big thing.
Hugs and Mojo to you.....
Weebs