Nothing much to say

Well, I was a little out of whack last night because of four little words in response to a text to my friend that she is the best friend ever.  I don't think so was the response.  
The intellectual side of me read it this way.  She knows I'm head over heels in love with her *and* that she is my best friend.  She knows I want more from our relationship, but I've explained why this isn't happening.  So, she can't reciprocate in a way that a) she knows I would like and b) that even she might like.  For many, many reasons, she is guarded with her emotions.  If there's anyone she's as open with as she's going to be, at the moment that is me.  Apart from my jealousy, which she understands, she trusts me with everything - every emotion, every joy, every sadness.  Most important, she trusts me with her kids, whom I adore.  And yet she knows we are in different spots in our lives, and so the intellectual side of me thought last night that she was lamenting that she could not be the friend I need and want.  The emotional side of me went haywire and convinced myself that she could not maintain our friendship as she tries to develop her relationship with the new bf.
She texted this morning that I am her best friend.  I know this is teenage crap, and I'm 40 years past that, but this is important to me.  Sure, we need to talk and, more important, I need to listen.  I tend to go on and on about how I feel, and she takes it onboard, but is not as explicit in her emotions.  That's neither good nor ad, but it is stressful. 
It's not fair to attribute to any one person the capacity to make oneself happy or sad, or whatever.  Rather, it's up to us how we choose to feel in response to our thoughts and feelings.  I will say it again.  I feel as if I'm on top of the world with this friendship.  The friendship is perfect.  The relationship is what it is, but I am only going to give it up if she tells me it's over.  If I ever reach d-day, I'm not sure what I'll do.