Note to self:

I can't even remember much of what I wanted to say because it was all thought up in the shower lol This is all kind of dumb to write and to remind myself to read over and over again, but completely necessary. I have to remember that at this stage in my life, a relationship is not important. I am completely needy, but I am completely functional without a person by my side. My emotions do not have to rule me nor does this other person in my life. This is not any kind of relationship because he will not commit. But just because of this, you do not have to tear yourself up over it. You have much more important things to look forward to. At college, you could potentially find your husband. YOUR. HUSBAND!? of all things. If he is willing to let that happen and let someone else let you be the light and joy in their life, then it is honestly his loss. Indecisiveness is not a virtue. You have to learn to let it go. It's not. A relationship. This is nothing. You are strictly ex's who talk. You have been through so much worse shit than this, even though this hurts more. You are stronger than this, so please Nina, stop crying for your own sake. You have the power. Not him.