Not Worse

"Meet the new boss

"Same as the old boss

"With painted eyes and youthfully tinted hair." ~Almost The Who (Won't Get Fooled Again)

The very first test in my Daily Inventory is number puzzles. How well I can focus on the puzzles while I sip my first morning cup is a trusted indicator of my current condition. Not surprisingly, they have not been going well since the work stoppage. Been in active therapy for this condition since before it had its current official name. (CON?) Did three puzzles in sequence without much head noise. Based on that, I declare myself, "Not Worse." So far today. The sun isnae yet up. The day is young. God knows what will rise with the sun. I trust in It/he/she to guide.

Hubs' summary of the co-owner luncheon wasnae the most professional synopsis I have ever read. It was full of poetic caveats and psychobabbled hopes I wasnae doing well at deciphering. There is a reason I test my cognitive strength with number puzzles instead of poetry books. I love to listen to hubs read poetry to me. I hear him similar to how I hear the morning bird concert. It be his silky tones I hear. The words are irrelevant. I write allot more poetry than I read.

After a long session of what felt like pulling teeth without anesthetic, he gave me the synopsis that funding is now available and the work can proceed at my discretion. I trust the synopsis about as far as I trusted the bees who mobbed me at the end of last attempt to establish family operations on the family investment property. Bees don't live very long. Those bees are all dead now. Well. . . The bees who stung me died that very day.

Giving ^it^ time and the old soft chew, but so far the trust runs as deep as my ability to talk about the reasons for my mistrust in a Surname Family catered event. I still feel more comfortable on the serving side of all catered events. Luckily, nobody tests my comfort zone very often. All I have to do is keep my big mouth shut about anything more relevant than this year's most admired studs and I fit right in on the served side of the event. I don't even need to review the social pages for the info. I glean the relevant stats from the chit chat among the attendees.

I hope to be Northbound shortly after sunrise. Ready to take the day one turn at a time. So I pray. Small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.