Not sure where to go now

June 8th 2017

first entry for me. Not sure what to say. 

To my dear husband, I know you have been sleeping around. This has been going on so long I know you won't stop. I haven't left you because your all I have and I keep hoping you'll remember when you used to love me. The relationship between you and your ex-wife is sick. It's not normal. You call me lazy and disgusting. And yet that lunch you eat at work I made at 5:30 that morning, those clothes neatly in your drawer I put there the night before. The bills and rent are all paid out of my money. When you ask why I'm always broke and tell me you don't want to hear that all I do is pay bills well guess what it's the truth. I haven't spent a dollar on myself in over six months. It's my birthday next week and you can't be bothered to talk about it. All you want to someone to talk down to and that person gets to be me. My life is falling apart and I don't know what todo. You tell me to get my own friends, but I literally can't afford to. You have tore down every bit of self esteem I ever had. I knew you were to good to be true.