not sure what the title is...
Well --- it looks like T could be admitted a week from Friday (but maybe not - if my husband gets his way). But now I know why my husband changed his mind - saying that my son isn't ready for treatment. At first I thought......he is an intelligent man - how in the world, after our son was in the emergency room 3 weeks ago, was missing in action the following Friday, and left during the night last Saturday AND finding out that he used during those times......could he say he isn't ready? Hello? Well.........now I know where my husband is coming from. I understand. I don't want to "talk" about it but I really don't think that this knowledge is going to change anything - it only complicates things and worries me more. Always an excuse for my son to use, regardless of what has happened, however. So............hubby left a message with T's probation officer, as did I. My husband said that if I get the call first, that I am to tell him that he needs to talk to my husband. I think my husband is going to ask for more time for my son. The problem is school will be out shortly and I cannot fathom the thought of him having all this freedom. He is supposed to be working everyday but I will be responsible for getting him off (which is no picnic when he's struggling) and starting my jobs, in addition to some other projects I will be busy with.......I don't think it's fair. Perhaps my husband would think twice if he were the one responsible for him on a regular basis. I know this isn't about me regarding whether T needs treatment or not............ but this is overwhelming. And since it is....it's obvious there is a problem. I do know that T needs mental health counseling and I told my husband that T will be able to get it in inpatient. Unfortunately.....we were not impressed with the drug counselors he had when T spent 4 days there last December. Both of the counselors he had were promoted from within....from driver to counselor (this is the one with Tourette's) and the other one was the dishwasher who had a very gruff manner (T couldn't stand him). I know the counselors have to have credenticals but I know they are at a minimum at best. We didn't like him at all either. I just hope when T does go (it is inevitable at some point) that he gets some decent counselors this time. I will say something. I don't want to be labeled as a complainer but I need express my concern. Oh.....my leg? It still hurts but not "as bad". I do need to see the doctor. Something is not right. Perhaps I will call tomorrow. Oh.....guess I'm going to be involved with the Suicide Prevention Education Alliance again this year. I was asked to be "the" distribution center person here on the west side of our city. The only one they have is on the other side of the city and it takes place at a pizza place. I guess it's a rally where all the leaders/reps of the schools meet to get pumped up and receive their material. I told them no. I didn't attend last year and I have too much on my mental plate. I am going to be the parent liaison again this year, fund raising this summer again at our local annual carnival over the 4th of July week. Why? Don't ask. The biggest reason is I liked it. The second one is.....it was fun (a lot of work) but fun. This year my husband and I might be helping out with their huge golf event. I will work helping out with the event and my husband could be golfing with his boss and co-workers if they are interested. So we'll see....
Replies
Put yourself first, go to the doctor!!!! If you have not called, do so now!!!!!!!!
If your husband doesn\'t want T to go, he needs to step up to the plate and monitor his behavior. You need a break and the opportunity to work. It\'s not just a money issue but for your overall mental health. It\'s good to see you redirect your time and energies outward and with others...........
Promoted from within, dishwasher or driver status, neurological condition, are not reasons to dislike a counselor -- we all get our starts in different ways and bring different experiences to the table. (Given what has been happening at home, T might very well benefit from different.) Is their training and approach different than yours -- is it worse than the status quo? This is not the first time that these comments have appeared and they comes across as excuses and highbrow.....intended or not. Seriously, who is going to be \"good enough\"? Articulating the traits needed for counseling and your expectations at the get go might make this a better experience for all concerned.......Consider taking your concerns to the therapists and center manager before T goes back; have a candid discussion and see if there is some common ground. If you do not think that the people are qualified (rather than personality) then lay it out and find something else. Perhaps this whole topic is worth an evening with those who have been there -- AA?! From this side of cyberspace, I find myself asking at what point are you picking apart a program to undermine it and/or ratchet down your expectations for treatment and/or engaging in a subtle form of denial rather than actively promoting change? I am asking these questions for reflection, not criticism!!!!!!!
I am hoping that positive changes are coming your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh....I am going to make an appointment tomorrow. If I don\'t call first thing in the morning, to get a same day appt., I probably wouldn\'t get an appt. for quite sometime. The center leaves same day appt. avail.