Not sure of my feelings, Friends

Here's my story friends, An old friend DIED today, Needless to say, it was A woman. with which I am and old friend with from Childhood. In other words, I knew her from childhood, and lost contact with when we became adults. in childhood she was a cute looking girl, who I was crazy about.  But the feelings were never returned, (in other words), she did not like me.  the friendship ended when she wrote me A note. (The first one, I ever got from A girl). She said alot of dirty nasty things about me. With which I got angry and wrote her A nasty note back. (needles to say, I never spoke to her again). I told her how she was ugly because she didn't have any TITS. We'll She died Today of Breast Cancer, My god, I wish I never said that to her, and am so sorry, I lost contact with her. tell me, How am I suppose to feel? when our friendship ended I said some awful mean and hateful things to her, but at the time, I felt Justified. I'll never forget the cute little smile she had, Or her Cute Dimples, Dimples is what everyone called her. it's really strange how her death has affected me, I never Imagined it would affect me this way.
     Isn't it strange how such A meaningless person in my life, could have such a affect?