Not sure how to feel

I should be getting the results from my last blood test today. I'm scared to know what is wrong, but I need some validation that all of this isn't in my head. I know I don't look sick, but my quality of life has diminished so much the past few years, I just want to know what is wrong. I have to keep so much medication in me to make my day bearable. God forbid I forget my pills, I'll be crying in pain. My back has especially been bothering me the past few days. I can't even sleep. The swelling is down, but not gone. The stomach pain is too much. I am only eating because I have medicine I have to eat with. I spend so much time in the bathroom because I'm either feeling like I will have what I call an "international incident". I feel like bits of me are dying.