not sure how I feel...

Tomorrow will be one month since DH's passing and so many people want to help out in some way.  Working at a bank, my office set up an account and there have been many donations.  The latest $2,000 from one of my customers.  I am grateful but at the same time feel a little like a charity case.  I don't want to be in the young husband dies suddenly and leaves behind a pregnant wife (with twins).   I know that it makes people feel good and like they have helped out in some way, but I still at times feel like a charity case.   I have spent none of the funds as of yet and plan to use them for my twins education.  
People have been telling me not to make any large decisions in the first 6 months to a year and sometimes all I want to do is pack up and move and start over where I can just be a single person with twins. 
On a better note, I am glad that I decided to go to Florida to visit my sister, the change of scenery is nice and so is the sunshine and warm weather - much better than the 30+ inches of snow that we had in Michigan in February.