not sure how I feel...

Tomorrow will be one month since DH's passing and so many people want to help out in some way.  Working at a bank, my office set up an account and there have been many donations.  The latest $2,000 from one of my customers.  I am grateful but at the same time feel a little like a charity case.  I don't want to be in the young husband dies suddenly and leaves behind a pregnant wife (with twins).   I know that it makes people feel good and like they have helped out in some way, but I still at times feel like a charity case.   I have spent none of the funds as of yet and plan to use them for my twins education.  
People have been telling me not to make any large decisions in the first 6 months to a year and sometimes all I want to do is pack up and move and start over where I can just be a single person with twins. 
On a better note, I am glad that I decided to go to Florida to visit my sister, the change of scenery is nice and so is the sunshine and warm weather - much better than the 30+ inches of snow that we had in Michigan in February. 
 

Replies

truststhelord
truststhelord

you are being really strong. I think about you often and I\'m sorry you to have to be in pain. I\'m sure you miss him like crazy and nothing that anyone says or does can make this better. I\'m glad you decided to go to Florida.
It was nice that your employer set that up for you. I can understand how you feel, but it\'s also one less thing to worry about.
deleted_user
deleted_user

My thoughts and prayers are with you... I hope you find the answers and peace you deserve during this difficult time. You are the only one who knows what is right for you and your twins, so take whatever time is needed to make a plan for your future.
confusedboutlove
confusedboutlove

I am praying for you!
FNP
FNP

So sorry you have such pain. I am glad that fund was set up. I know it is hard to accept but remember it is a gift for the babies. Glad the warm weather feels good. Saying a prayer for your continued strength
Cate09
Cate09

Continue to be strong. I am praying for you.
nero1010
nero1010

I\'m glad you took the very needed getaway! I pray with time things will get easier.
EELC
EELC

I think putting the money aside is a good thing to do. Use it for something your Dh would have wanted to provide for the twins -- education, or a car on their 16th birthday or a rainy day fund.