Not sure

Married for 25 years.  My last name has been his for more than half my life.  I have 3 amazing children and my youngest is almost 18. We married young and found out within a few weeks we were expecting our first.  So there has always been children, distractions, responsibilities and sacrifices in our marriage from early on. I had 5 years in banking when we were expecting our 2nd and child care was pricey.  So I gave up my career as his started to grow and made the decision to stay at home.  I was finally vested, cashed out my retirement for a down payment on a new home and gave it up.  

Fast forward 20 years, one more child and several part time or school related jobs to be at or near home and available for the kids. They are almost all grown and within the past few years, I had even gone back and forth, out of state to help care for his senior family. I helped to relocate his Grandmother, after Grandpa passed, to our home to care for, since she had no one.  Then her health declined and I took her to appts, worked with her care team, set her up close to our home and visited her at least weekly, if not more.  I was POA for both of his grandparents and it was a juggle with my own family for sure.

We had a hiccup a couple years back with Facebook.  He was friended by ex-girlfriends and talking with them via messenger and I wasnt aware, or made known. It was nothing he said, yet only said that after I found out.  We like to say, put the shoe on the other foot.  So it was rocky, we took a step back, tried to heal and then more uncomfortable situations, tension, lack of trust and respect has lead us to where we are today.... trying to figure out how to stop hurting each other and how to move forward without being "us" anymore.