not sure

iam not sure of whats going on any more, right now i am so cunfused. i ajhvent smoke anything i ve only drank and usally it doesnt make my mmood go down like it is right now, usally  iam hyper and shit and not depressed but i am rigt now and i dont know why, i wis ihadnt miscarrige 3 yeats agp. the guy i like thinkis i am disgutsin nd wrong...i wnat to cut again so bd,,,purge my skin body and osuld everything is just wrong right now, everythings pilling up and i dont know what to do rigt now i am so cunfused nothings right no. i dont know whats going on anymore...its just so ard i dont know how i can deal with all this pressure anymore it just keeps building up like watser before a damn and its getting ready to break soon i want to cry but i dont cry infront of ppl its not wo iam am and i dont put my problesms on other ppls shoulder i dont know whats goin on anymore ia, so cunfused and lost everytings comeing down on me  i need hep so muc and i dont knw who to go to who to turn to who wont hurt me anymrpe iam scared of geting hurt and feeling alone noing tat my only support is gone tat they didnt really care bout me anywat bu was only using me. t would destrpy me