not strong... so much pain...

I can't stop crying today. Its the weekend. We usually went shopping or hung out together. This weekend my kids go to their dad's house. Its so lonely without him here. He's not so far away but too far for me to hug. To hold. I just miss him so much! It feels like I'll never touch him or hold him again. Talk to him. I got one letter so far and he has to order supplies so it could be a week before I hear from him again. I just want him to call me. I have ordered books for him per his request. I write to him every day. I'm going to make him very popular. ha ha.. The tears I weep are so true. I just can't be without him. He is everything good and loving in my life besides my kids. I want this to be over. I want him to be home. I am trying to make extra money but nothing seems to be working. I'm not patient so I guess just allowing more time might help.. I wake up crying and I got to bed crying. I don't have much of an appetite though I am trying. My kids miss him and are wondering when he's coming home. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. Its only been a little over a week. I am not strong. I don't feel strong. I just feel like a weeping willow... Delicate to everything... I need my rock to be by my side.