Not so sure but am ok
I have been dealing with a lot of intense feelings lately . Fear , anger and resentment . I know my daughter and grandchildren will never be in my life , and I am finally ok with that .
I have been in a LDR for 11 years with what has now reared its ugly head as a man who has MPD and who is a narcissist . I have never been one to walk away from anyone whom is ill , no matter what it is ... but I am so ready to walk away from this man and never speak to him again . He has hurt me verbally so many times I cannot count .
It's been ok to be in a LDR with him because I am ok with being alone now , and have been the better part of 15 yrs .
Its better to be alone than with a man who is such a narcsisstic neaderthal .
Tonight he was questioning if there was a God , and then said God was black , as Scientists have now found that the first man on Earth is black and his DNA goes well beyond the time the Bible says Adam and Eve was created and then went on to say that we are all incestuous if there is a God .
He has friends who are anti gay and they openly bash , I just found this out this week , one of his most close of friends is from Ireland and came here to marry an American woman and when she got gravely ill , pushed her aside and then went and had affairs she found out about while she was in recovery ... they are now divorced ! His friend was gay bashing a few nights ago and made the comment ... " Aids is not a disease but a cure for gays " I blew my top and asked my guy why he was friends with this man , because afterall your son whom is transgendering is gay and has had 18 boyfriends in less than 5 years and that's just the one's I know about ... how would it make you feel for your best friend to say such if Mic was dying with aids .... my guy said his friend was just who he is and he cannot demand he not voice an opinion ... that its his right to say whatever he wants ... my response was ... yeah but you don't need friends like that and what if your son had overheard his Dad being friends with a man who was gay bashing ....
My job is stressful ... I dont need to come home , hop on the pc and listen to that crap
His friend is an abuser of women online , he full well knows this .... he just can't understand why I don't just be friends with the guy or at least tolerate being around him ... I am a survivor of abuse ... childhood and spousal.... I prefer not to be around morons who abuse me ..
Sometimes , life gets so bad for me I want to lie down with a handful of pills and just go to sleep ..........
But hey my regrets are slimming down !! Or are they :(
I have been in a LDR for 11 years with what has now reared its ugly head as a man who has MPD and who is a narcissist . I have never been one to walk away from anyone whom is ill , no matter what it is ... but I am so ready to walk away from this man and never speak to him again . He has hurt me verbally so many times I cannot count .
It's been ok to be in a LDR with him because I am ok with being alone now , and have been the better part of 15 yrs .
Its better to be alone than with a man who is such a narcsisstic neaderthal .
Tonight he was questioning if there was a God , and then said God was black , as Scientists have now found that the first man on Earth is black and his DNA goes well beyond the time the Bible says Adam and Eve was created and then went on to say that we are all incestuous if there is a God .
He has friends who are anti gay and they openly bash , I just found this out this week , one of his most close of friends is from Ireland and came here to marry an American woman and when she got gravely ill , pushed her aside and then went and had affairs she found out about while she was in recovery ... they are now divorced ! His friend was gay bashing a few nights ago and made the comment ... " Aids is not a disease but a cure for gays " I blew my top and asked my guy why he was friends with this man , because afterall your son whom is transgendering is gay and has had 18 boyfriends in less than 5 years and that's just the one's I know about ... how would it make you feel for your best friend to say such if Mic was dying with aids .... my guy said his friend was just who he is and he cannot demand he not voice an opinion ... that its his right to say whatever he wants ... my response was ... yeah but you don't need friends like that and what if your son had overheard his Dad being friends with a man who was gay bashing ....
My job is stressful ... I dont need to come home , hop on the pc and listen to that crap
His friend is an abuser of women online , he full well knows this .... he just can't understand why I don't just be friends with the guy or at least tolerate being around him ... I am a survivor of abuse ... childhood and spousal.... I prefer not to be around morons who abuse me ..
Sometimes , life gets so bad for me I want to lie down with a handful of pills and just go to sleep ..........
But hey my regrets are slimming down !! Or are they :(
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