Not one aspect of my life can be easy, can it?
The only doctor that I have bothered to look for for myself has been the psychiatrist, because the one in Maine me too busy, and because I met the boss of the person who is supposed to be my intern-psychiatrist, and she frightened me. She was only in the room for about one minute, and asked one question - the question that those people always ask, to which I always have the same answer: Q: are you suicidal? A: Suicide is not cost-effective. The intern laughed, which is the appropriate response, but the so-called expert, her boss, looked at me and said "And, what does that mean?", with a arrogant, judgemental, condescending look on her face that, had I a gun pointed at my head at the moment would have made me pull the trigger.
I came down from Maine intending to get an apartment close to my mother, but my brother talked me into taking over her house, in order to save it, because the nursing home was threatening to take it away from her or causing her to lose it. They, at first, told him that a family member had to be living in the house, and right after moving in and taking over, they told him that they were going to take it anyway.
The expenses here are such that I will not be able to save enough to get into another place after living here, paying her expenses. I'm losing my house, so my credit has tanked, so the chance of getting into a good place is slim, anyway, but without funding I'll have nowhere to go and noway to get there after I leave here, and if she loses this house because of the nursing home, I'm out on the street.
I had my mother home for 5 days, and she got sick again, and the cycle starts again. She's in the critical care unit and is bound for the nursing home again. even if they get her in shape, however, she can't come home again. It would just be a repeat of what just happened, and she is in danger as soon as she becomes ill again.
The girl is in trouble at school, and doesn't want to go. She's been trying to do all the work, but has fallen behind because she is overwhelmed, and can't seem to get the assistance she thinks she needs, so she lets it go until the day before the project is due, then panics. She's been hanging out with a very troubled girl, who has admitted to me that she is a "slut", and is getting the reputation as one herself, though she denies it, but she doesn't handle the "boyfriend" thing well, at all, and it is leading to a lot of trouble.
So, I have a meeting at school later today, and her therapist right after that. The officer at the school is going to be there, as well as the "social worker" for the school. I can only hope that they are not going to push a "child advocate" or something on me, or get DCYF involved, because that would just add additional misery to the situation.
All these social workers and such do is complicate matters that are already complex. It always seems that they try to blame me for not handling the situation properly when nobody cooperates with me to begin with. I should be in control of the situation - but I am not, and because I am not, I'm being blamed for this.
I'm so tired of getting blamed for other people's behavior. There is only so much that any one person can do to control any other person's behavior. Especially when that person has been told not to listen by so many other people - including dcyf, because when she was taken away from her mother, they did everything in their power to convince the girl that I was not an appropriate person to have an attachment to.
The girl and I have an attachment, and she is 15 now, so this attachment should be loosening - not tightening. But it was damaged when she was 6 and in foster care.
I am tired of fighting everyone and not being listened to by any of them. I don't understand why the girl's friend, who smokes her mother's pot and claims to have had sex with "a lot" of boys, is a "good kid" because she doesn't "get into trouble", despite the fact that she is loud and crass, and the girl is always brought forward as the trouble maker and bad influence when she, until meeting this girl, was always home directly from school and I always knew where she was and what she was doing.
The girl is doing the best that she can, and once again, because of her behavior, the school is declaring open season on her. If she cannot modify her behavior, any one can do any thing to her that they want and she is not safe there.
I don't know how to get them to understand my position, or the difficulties I have faced trying to teach her better, and how difficult it is for the girl to understand these things. I am not trying to make it sound like the problem is about me, either, but about her - I have tried everything to make the girl understand about these things short of accepting the all-therapy all the time treatment suggested by the idiots, because that is not only unhelpful, but I really think unhealthy for her. She would lose any chance at any kind of social life and be completely unable to do anything but therapy and school, provided she would be allowed to do school.
I came down from Maine intending to get an apartment close to my mother, but my brother talked me into taking over her house, in order to save it, because the nursing home was threatening to take it away from her or causing her to lose it. They, at first, told him that a family member had to be living in the house, and right after moving in and taking over, they told him that they were going to take it anyway.
The expenses here are such that I will not be able to save enough to get into another place after living here, paying her expenses. I'm losing my house, so my credit has tanked, so the chance of getting into a good place is slim, anyway, but without funding I'll have nowhere to go and noway to get there after I leave here, and if she loses this house because of the nursing home, I'm out on the street.
I had my mother home for 5 days, and she got sick again, and the cycle starts again. She's in the critical care unit and is bound for the nursing home again. even if they get her in shape, however, she can't come home again. It would just be a repeat of what just happened, and she is in danger as soon as she becomes ill again.
The girl is in trouble at school, and doesn't want to go. She's been trying to do all the work, but has fallen behind because she is overwhelmed, and can't seem to get the assistance she thinks she needs, so she lets it go until the day before the project is due, then panics. She's been hanging out with a very troubled girl, who has admitted to me that she is a "slut", and is getting the reputation as one herself, though she denies it, but she doesn't handle the "boyfriend" thing well, at all, and it is leading to a lot of trouble.
So, I have a meeting at school later today, and her therapist right after that. The officer at the school is going to be there, as well as the "social worker" for the school. I can only hope that they are not going to push a "child advocate" or something on me, or get DCYF involved, because that would just add additional misery to the situation.
All these social workers and such do is complicate matters that are already complex. It always seems that they try to blame me for not handling the situation properly when nobody cooperates with me to begin with. I should be in control of the situation - but I am not, and because I am not, I'm being blamed for this.
I'm so tired of getting blamed for other people's behavior. There is only so much that any one person can do to control any other person's behavior. Especially when that person has been told not to listen by so many other people - including dcyf, because when she was taken away from her mother, they did everything in their power to convince the girl that I was not an appropriate person to have an attachment to.
The girl and I have an attachment, and she is 15 now, so this attachment should be loosening - not tightening. But it was damaged when she was 6 and in foster care.
I am tired of fighting everyone and not being listened to by any of them. I don't understand why the girl's friend, who smokes her mother's pot and claims to have had sex with "a lot" of boys, is a "good kid" because she doesn't "get into trouble", despite the fact that she is loud and crass, and the girl is always brought forward as the trouble maker and bad influence when she, until meeting this girl, was always home directly from school and I always knew where she was and what she was doing.
The girl is doing the best that she can, and once again, because of her behavior, the school is declaring open season on her. If she cannot modify her behavior, any one can do any thing to her that they want and she is not safe there.
I don't know how to get them to understand my position, or the difficulties I have faced trying to teach her better, and how difficult it is for the girl to understand these things. I am not trying to make it sound like the problem is about me, either, but about her - I have tried everything to make the girl understand about these things short of accepting the all-therapy all the time treatment suggested by the idiots, because that is not only unhelpful, but I really think unhealthy for her. She would lose any chance at any kind of social life and be completely unable to do anything but therapy and school, provided she would be allowed to do school.
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