Not myself
4Feb13 5:41am
So, in case anyone reads this I wanted to warn you that I'm really down and to say sorry for dumping my feelings on you. Feel free to skip this one! I hate bringing anyone else down but I'm just not myself right now and it scares me.
I'm feeling very hurt and alone. Spent the past 3 nights sleeping on the couch. It seems I've lost everyone and I'm once more alone. I feel frozen and at the same time like I'm bleeding with pain.
My "doctor" (Brown) told me to increase Amitriptyline as it has some positive affects on SOD (sphincteer of Oddi dysfunction), which I have. But I've also read it's an antidepressant. I'm wondering if these overpowering feelings of worthlessness and shame could possibly be at least a little from the medication.
If I were brave, I'd ask the site. But I find I can't, so I just figure anyone who's still interested in my journal entries might have feedback.
I've never been a quitter. I'm just too stubborn. These weird depressive feelings are just plain NOT in my character. I'm a fighter. I just can't figure it out. Have I lost myself someplace? It feels that way. I'm without hope.
So, in case anyone reads this I wanted to warn you that I'm really down and to say sorry for dumping my feelings on you. Feel free to skip this one! I hate bringing anyone else down but I'm just not myself right now and it scares me.
I'm feeling very hurt and alone. Spent the past 3 nights sleeping on the couch. It seems I've lost everyone and I'm once more alone. I feel frozen and at the same time like I'm bleeding with pain.
My "doctor" (Brown) told me to increase Amitriptyline as it has some positive affects on SOD (sphincteer of Oddi dysfunction), which I have. But I've also read it's an antidepressant. I'm wondering if these overpowering feelings of worthlessness and shame could possibly be at least a little from the medication.
If I were brave, I'd ask the site. But I find I can't, so I just figure anyone who's still interested in my journal entries might have feedback.
I've never been a quitter. I'm just too stubborn. These weird depressive feelings are just plain NOT in my character. I'm a fighter. I just can't figure it out. Have I lost myself someplace? It feels that way. I'm without hope.
Replies
So sorry you are so miserable...Amitriptyline does stimulates the pancreatic hormone, but it can make you very depressed and have suicidal thoughts..if you are feeling very down call your doctor, you may be one of those people it has one of those odd effects on, even though it may be used as an anti depressant..It doesn\'t matter if it makes your panky feel better if you are mentally feeling drained and alone is it worth it?
I take Topamx and the with name brand I am fine, I tried the generic and I get road rage & hubby rage, and doggy rage you name it I got upset, had to go back to the name brand and I am fine... Some pills just mess with us...
Please Call your doctor and let him know what is going on. This is serious....I do pray you will do better soon. I do care, you are a very special person who has a lot to give. I will call you later today..
You friend in California..
Cheryl
I agree that it would be wise to call your doctor.
I think it is also important to realize there is no shame in having those \'bad\' feelings. I believe depression affects us all at some point in our lives, and having those feelings does not make you weak or less than. That being said, if they are stemming from the meds, at least in part, it would be good to talk to the doctor.
I am sending positive vibes your way.
Krystal
Yes, call your doctor Please. Depression is no joke... I take Lexapro.... It just takes the edge off for me. If nothing else, look into Wyn\'s eyes. Nothing but love there. You have very much to offer. Springtime will be here soon. Many birds to find. TTFN. Your Friend Brian
I suffer from depression - I have my whole life. I have been on a multitude of antidepressants. The only one I seem to tolerate is Prozac. I can tell you from experience that some of these medications can actually make you feel much worse. Whenever that happened to me, I stopped the medication immediately (but made sure that I was taking SOMETHING for the depression). I don\'t believe in waiting weeks to acclimate to these drugs. This is probably not a good fit for you. Please tell yourself that it\'s the drug, and not you - call your doctor, please, and replace this one. I was once put on Cymbalta because it\'s supposed to help with pain. It made me crave alcohol. Now, I had stopped drinking alcohol years ago, so I found that to be very weird. I got on the Internet and found that other people had the same experience. My doctor did not really buy into this, but I didn\'t care - I had him switch me back to the Prozac. Don\'t stay alone with your thoughts - I\'ve had them too, at times - things change. Maya