Not my kid
I've had to come to realize, this man that calls himself my 'son' is not my son. He is an imposter, driven by a devil I name Heroin. Heroin takes everything. Your mind, your soul and wants you all for itself. it will NOT share you with your family or those you love. It will find you someone it loves just as much so the two of you can be a 'threesome'. It will erase ANY memory you have of WHO you USE to be. It will take ALL your hard work, your dreams and crumble them in front of your eyes, but it's spell will captivate you so you don't even REALIZE what's happening.
I loved you with all I had. I worked SO hard for 10 years of your life as a single parent, went without so you could have, because I love you. I made SURE that no matter WHERE we lived, it was not full of 'elements' that would tempt you or steer you off track. I worked multiple jobs to make ends meet. And when I found the man I truly love, I was thrilled to have someone you could call a 'role model'. He tried so much to create a relationship with you, but you wouldn't have it. With all sorts of fun to be had whether it be skiing, snowmobiling, you couldn't care less.
Your birth father in the meantime was using YOUR SSN and ruined your credit at the age of 14, so when you hit 18, you couldn't even get a loan for a used car even though you had a job, hard working etc.
You made choices in YOUR life with a girl who is now deceased and it doesn't hit home with you. She left behind a BABY because of her love for the devil.
You've lost 10 friends to overdoses and your reply? It won't happen to me. I'm sure that's what THEY said.
You'll be 25 at the end of the month, you want to come up and celebrate with us and 'relax'? You even went into rehab for a week and expected us to applaude you? So that you can come up here 'clean'?
That is NOT clean, that is just 'getting by'.
My heart is cold to your pleas, but know this, late at night, when it's freezing out, I worry if you are warm somewhere, when I eat an amazing dinner I just cooked, I wonder if you're out there somewhere hungry and haven't eaten for days. When I buy something new I see something that I think 'oh wouldn't he like that!' and I don't buy it.
I will NOT ruin MY life because you chose to ruin yours. I raised you with all GOOD lessons, GOOD examples and you will NOT make this 'our fault'. We TRIED to get you help. YOU have ALL the help at your fingertips that wouldn't cost you a DIME and you refuse every time.
I see other peoples kids who are living amazing lives, clean lives, fun lives and I get so sad because your life is full of darkness.
I REFUSE to live in the darkness for YOUR choices.
I love you, I miss the REAL you, I wish I could make you better. But the only one that can do that is YOU.
When YOU come back, call me. When YOU are serious to get better, when you dump that excuse of a girlfriend who is also an addict and accepts you for what you are, call me. When you FINALLY decide enough is enough, call me!
Want to know HOW to do it? Dump the girlfriend, get INTO long term rehab, learn HOW to deal with the addiction so you can GET the tools to FIGHT IT, stay in that rehab, let them help you learn to LIVE again. Get a JOB! There's a NOVEL idea a JOB! And a place to LIVE and go to work EVERY DAY. Save UP your money, don't blow it on drugs! And LIVE your life. Don't let Heroin RUN your life as it is now.
I know that this will end one of two ways: 1.) You will wake up and get INTO long term rehab because you WANT to and NOONE can do it for you! YOU have to do it! 2.) You will continue on this destructive path and eventually overdose.
Either way, I will still LOVE you, but I will NOT enable you or allow you into my life until you choose #1!
I will NOT destroy my life any further. That is the choice I MAKE!
Love your Mom!
I loved you with all I had. I worked SO hard for 10 years of your life as a single parent, went without so you could have, because I love you. I made SURE that no matter WHERE we lived, it was not full of 'elements' that would tempt you or steer you off track. I worked multiple jobs to make ends meet. And when I found the man I truly love, I was thrilled to have someone you could call a 'role model'. He tried so much to create a relationship with you, but you wouldn't have it. With all sorts of fun to be had whether it be skiing, snowmobiling, you couldn't care less.
Your birth father in the meantime was using YOUR SSN and ruined your credit at the age of 14, so when you hit 18, you couldn't even get a loan for a used car even though you had a job, hard working etc.
You made choices in YOUR life with a girl who is now deceased and it doesn't hit home with you. She left behind a BABY because of her love for the devil.
You've lost 10 friends to overdoses and your reply? It won't happen to me. I'm sure that's what THEY said.
You'll be 25 at the end of the month, you want to come up and celebrate with us and 'relax'? You even went into rehab for a week and expected us to applaude you? So that you can come up here 'clean'?
That is NOT clean, that is just 'getting by'.
My heart is cold to your pleas, but know this, late at night, when it's freezing out, I worry if you are warm somewhere, when I eat an amazing dinner I just cooked, I wonder if you're out there somewhere hungry and haven't eaten for days. When I buy something new I see something that I think 'oh wouldn't he like that!' and I don't buy it.
I will NOT ruin MY life because you chose to ruin yours. I raised you with all GOOD lessons, GOOD examples and you will NOT make this 'our fault'. We TRIED to get you help. YOU have ALL the help at your fingertips that wouldn't cost you a DIME and you refuse every time.
I see other peoples kids who are living amazing lives, clean lives, fun lives and I get so sad because your life is full of darkness.
I REFUSE to live in the darkness for YOUR choices.
I love you, I miss the REAL you, I wish I could make you better. But the only one that can do that is YOU.
When YOU come back, call me. When YOU are serious to get better, when you dump that excuse of a girlfriend who is also an addict and accepts you for what you are, call me. When you FINALLY decide enough is enough, call me!
Want to know HOW to do it? Dump the girlfriend, get INTO long term rehab, learn HOW to deal with the addiction so you can GET the tools to FIGHT IT, stay in that rehab, let them help you learn to LIVE again. Get a JOB! There's a NOVEL idea a JOB! And a place to LIVE and go to work EVERY DAY. Save UP your money, don't blow it on drugs! And LIVE your life. Don't let Heroin RUN your life as it is now.
I know that this will end one of two ways: 1.) You will wake up and get INTO long term rehab because you WANT to and NOONE can do it for you! YOU have to do it! 2.) You will continue on this destructive path and eventually overdose.
Either way, I will still LOVE you, but I will NOT enable you or allow you into my life until you choose #1!
I will NOT destroy my life any further. That is the choice I MAKE!
Love your Mom!
Replies
well written...if only love were enough xoxo
So sad so true ... I pray for you hoping he picks #1
4 days after I wrote this, our son OD\'d, died not once but twice, we knew NOTHING about this until Jan. 30th. When he called from rehab. Happily he was brought back with Narcan.