Not Much Fight Right Now
Oh man, I just don't know any more!!!!!
Healthwise for every one step forward I feel like I'm taking three backwards. I just can't seem to get ahead of the game. The lupus rash thing has been going totally nutso. An itch beyond what I can find words for right now. I'm taking all my drugs but somehow something is just not connecting. My cold/bug is on the outs with the exception of some wonky ear thing but even thats slowly letting up. It's been abt 3 1/2 wks & I wonder if the lupus can really be affected to this extent because of the bug. You'd think I know these things by now but even after all these yrs I still find lupus a guessing game at the best of times. The most frustrating thing is there is so so so much I just don't have any drop of energy for. Some days I can hardly make it to 8 p.m. before needing to get into bed. Thankfully I've got THE MOST UNDERSTANDING HUBBY in the world. He's been totally non demanding of me, accepts whatever I have the energy to cook & stuff so a major blessing I think. But those that know me here know I'm usually the eternal optimist but this is at times getting the better of me. Have had some digestive issues like acid reflux & discomfort that would normally speak of gall bladder but, hello, that can't be. I've heard of what they say sympathy pains but after all this time. I've got weight to gain & sure would love to really be able to love food again. Now that I put these feelings in print it really angers me & darn it all I want it to stop!!!!!!!! I'm even scard to try & go out to eat cause I just don't know what to eat, how much, etc. etc. Oh boy.
Enough of my whining. We picked up Peppers ashes. You just can't seem to put 15 yrs aside that easily can you. Angel did notice that something was missing for a few days but she's getting better. She seems to have lonely moments though. We realize all kinds of things around home & life that were affected by Pepper, all good of course, but alas. Think we're gonna miss Mr. Buddy Guy for a while.
Hubby's pulmonary rehab course will be starting to wind up after this coming wk. It's been a huge educational experience & the gym time really has been a positive experience for him. We're both going to continue at the facility after the course is over, at least to the best of our ability. I've told him that it's not so much how much you do, how much weight, etc. etc., the only thing that matters is that he's trying.
Am thinking winter is trying to knock at our door but so far we're not answering. I think winter shd be say snow around a wk before Christmas & then gone by abt the 2nd wk in January. Hows that.
Gotta fight my way back to a better place!!!!
Healthwise for every one step forward I feel like I'm taking three backwards. I just can't seem to get ahead of the game. The lupus rash thing has been going totally nutso. An itch beyond what I can find words for right now. I'm taking all my drugs but somehow something is just not connecting. My cold/bug is on the outs with the exception of some wonky ear thing but even thats slowly letting up. It's been abt 3 1/2 wks & I wonder if the lupus can really be affected to this extent because of the bug. You'd think I know these things by now but even after all these yrs I still find lupus a guessing game at the best of times. The most frustrating thing is there is so so so much I just don't have any drop of energy for. Some days I can hardly make it to 8 p.m. before needing to get into bed. Thankfully I've got THE MOST UNDERSTANDING HUBBY in the world. He's been totally non demanding of me, accepts whatever I have the energy to cook & stuff so a major blessing I think. But those that know me here know I'm usually the eternal optimist but this is at times getting the better of me. Have had some digestive issues like acid reflux & discomfort that would normally speak of gall bladder but, hello, that can't be. I've heard of what they say sympathy pains but after all this time. I've got weight to gain & sure would love to really be able to love food again. Now that I put these feelings in print it really angers me & darn it all I want it to stop!!!!!!!! I'm even scard to try & go out to eat cause I just don't know what to eat, how much, etc. etc. Oh boy.
Enough of my whining. We picked up Peppers ashes. You just can't seem to put 15 yrs aside that easily can you. Angel did notice that something was missing for a few days but she's getting better. She seems to have lonely moments though. We realize all kinds of things around home & life that were affected by Pepper, all good of course, but alas. Think we're gonna miss Mr. Buddy Guy for a while.
Hubby's pulmonary rehab course will be starting to wind up after this coming wk. It's been a huge educational experience & the gym time really has been a positive experience for him. We're both going to continue at the facility after the course is over, at least to the best of our ability. I've told him that it's not so much how much you do, how much weight, etc. etc., the only thing that matters is that he's trying.
Am thinking winter is trying to knock at our door but so far we're not answering. I think winter shd be say snow around a wk before Christmas & then gone by abt the 2nd wk in January. Hows that.
Gotta fight my way back to a better place!!!!
Replies
Wish I could do something to help with your Lupus battle but I know you have DS friends and support here that can support you more...prayers from me continue. Hugs to that great hubbie of yours. We\'re lucky to have supportive best friends in our lives huh? I think you are monitoring your diet so well and close. Keep doing that! Agree that lupus may have something to do with this as I (fortunately) had no food problems after surgery. Only milk (makes me gassy, tmi)...
RIP Pepper. Are you keeping his ashes at home? Our boys are sitting in the sunshine on our bay window. I miss them every single day, and it\'s been four years. What a tribute to these great god\'s creatures to leave such a mark on our hearts. I bet your hubbie is feeling very good about his rehab and condition and he gets A+ for effort.
Totally agree about the snow....Christmas Eve it can snow and then leave the day after boxing day. Works for me!
We\'re here to help you get back to the better place.... sorry I\'m here a week late. xxoo
I know I typed out a reply here before but I don\'t think it \"stuck\" haha. I\'m so sorry about Pepper. I know those lingering feelings one has out of the blue for a lost pet. For us, it is when we get to the end of our sandwich and there\'s no dog there to give it to. Well, that was the inbetween times, now we have another old dog who may not last the year.
I\'m so sorry you have had such troubles with your energy and digestion and such, but oh so glad you have such a great hubby. Praise the Lord!
I pray for help and healing for both of us and I do hope you are feeling better! xoxo, m
I am so sorry for your loss. I know ho much you love your kitty\'s. Wish I could do something to help , all I can do is pray that God will comfort you and mel at this time. I love you sweety. I am here if you need to talk.
Love, Frieda
Love and prayers to you, for you and your hubby