Not much better

3 days in a row again of taking Xanax.  Was actually feeling pretty good today.  Almost normal all day.  Ate light.  Ash Wednesday.  No meat today and fasting.  I ate 1/2 of a large cinnamon raisin bagel and some cream cheese for breakfast.  some coffee.  Sipping water all day (still could use more though I guess.)  Ate slice bread with some peanut butter for lunch.  should really have eaten a piece of fruit maybe.  was feeling ok.  then, ate 2 slices of cheese pizza.  OMG!  Was really not feeling well after that 2nd piece.  Went to get nails done.  Reading my book while nails drying.  Was really struggling, not feeling well.  I think maybe pinched nerve or something in back also sinus headache due to barometer change.  HUGE storm coming our way tomorrow.  so overall, not feeling great.  Started getting that "shaky" feeling again.  And I have been having this pain in my breast bone.  Kind of like a heaviness in my chest but not.  Again, I am still thinking this all has to be anxiety related.  It all comes and goes.  I get to church early.  no sense in coming all the way home.  Get there 6:30pm and mass starts at 7pm.  Wow.  By 6:45pm, full blown panic attack.  Took a Xanax.  Usually, 10-15 minutes and I am good to go.  By 7:20pm, I am still in panic mode.  Seriously trying to focus on the priest, on my breathing, on anything but how I felt.  Dizzy, nauseous.  Drove home.  I swear, 15 minutes after I got home, I felt so much better.  Back still bothering me and neck still.  I still have this feeling like I am coming down with something.
I am going to Dr's tomorrow.  I am going back on Lexapro.  I would rather be a Zombie than this.  That month I took Lexapro, at least I was not anxious for a whole month.  This is now more than just panic attacks.  It is more like constant anxiety, and also depression is setting in.  the fact that I don't want to eat scares the daylights out of me.  Again, it all comes and goes, but more here than not.
Work stress really has been much better.  And the fact that this is just hitting me willy nilly is what scares me.  TOM is over.  It did get better for a couple of days but now back.  3 days in a row.  I want to be normal again.  I want my life back.  I want to exercise again.  I swear that I DID appreciate what I had!