Not living up to my Hopeful name today
We went away for a quick getaway for some much needed R&R before we begin IVF next month and I learned a very valuable lesson that I actually already knew but was reinforced: you can run from your problems but you can't hide UGH. Turns out, and I'm sure this will come as a complete shock to all of you - lol - that you can run but you can't hide from freaking IF!!! We had a nice, relaxing few days but it's really so hard not to have IF follow along everywhere, like an obnoxious stalker! I'm guess I'm just feeling discouraged. I know I shouldn't pay attention to the percentages/statistics, but it's hard not to. I am so worried that even if I manage to get a BFP with my 1st IVF, which would be a wonderful miracle, it will end in miscarriage (thanks, again to listening to those stats) or that there will be health issues with the baby. Ugh, over 40 + TTC = too much worry and stress. I'm having trouble feeling positive even though I so badly want to. I need a major attitude adjustment here and quick!! Too bad amazon doesn't sell attitude adjusters, seems they sell everything else under the sun these days lol.
Replies
No need to be positive today, keep your positive energy for when your in your cycle. It\'s really hard to look at the stats and I understand why your age is one more issue to worry about. Miracles happen everyday and dreams do come true even if your not at Disneyworld. We are here for you.
Hugs
I agree with Roxy. Let yourself feel the way you feel. My therapist always reminds me that my feelings are temporary - if I\'m feeling sad, it will go away soon and there will be some moments of happiness :) Where\'d you guys go away?
I agree with BkSuz99 that it\'s normal to feel this way. It\'s not an easy journey. You just have to keep going and keep your eye on the prize. You need to remember you can do it! All of us have been there and we can totally relate. Hand tough!
Yeah. With any grieving process, there will be low days and higher ones. Sometimes, IF is staring you right in the face, and sometimes you can get a break from it. But, like all problems, they never go away if you run from them. They\'re always waiting when you get back. Being proactive helps. Keeping people around who will help keep you positive help too. The \"stats\" may seem more realistic, but no two people are alike. The stats don\'t guarantee your own failure or success. Keep the faith.
The best IF advice I ever got was to feel how ever you feel. So if you feel sad or depressed, allow yourself to feel that way. Your mood will change with time and you can get on with life. Save all your positive thinking for when you need it in cycle. You do not want to waste it all before hand! Good luck to you! XOXO
Good advice above from LMWT.....you have to stop \"running\" or beating yourself up when these feelings surface. Its great that you are trying to have some normalcy because you should...but if feelings surface you have to just let it happen. It will pass. There will be ups and downs no matter how hard you try. The stats SUCK....you can\'t worry about them because if we did NO ONE would EVER get pregnant from IVF or naturally after 40 and yet SO MANY women actually do....so why can\'t we be members of that club too?! Sending you support and hugs and hoping that you stay strong....and when you can\'t be strong we are all here for you to give you back some strength! xoxo
Thanks, ladies! I know its important to feel my feelings, even if they are negative, its the only way to get through the grief. And although I know the feelings come and go, sometimes getting stuck in a bad feeling feels like a tunnel and it\'s hard to see the light at the end.
Hang in there HopefulinNYC! This emotional roller coaster in our IF worlds sucks and we have all been there. Some days I feel so hopeless that I feel non functioning. Stay strong and keep believing!! xoxo
Not everyone can be Suzy Sunshine every day so just be who you are---no judging here. Will be here for you whenever you need someone!
I can completely understand! I go through such an emotional roller coaster all the time when it comes to IF, whether we are actively on a treatment cycle, or taking a \"break.\" There is no such thing as a break, though. We are always thinking \"maybe it will happen on its own\" even when we aren\'t making frequent trips to the RE. I am on this constant rotation through the stages of grief...I go through denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance, then back again on a constant basis. Sometimes, I hover in one stage longer than others, sometimes my hope keeps me from feeling these in full force, but until I conquer IF, I\'m always struggling with grief. Good luck to you in your own battles...I hope you find better days soon!
I so understand how you feel. Whenever I try to do something that will get my mind off it, i see a preggo lady or am surrounded by babies. It never fails. And when DH and I try to do something fun together and talk about everything BUT IF, I want so badly to bring it up! Everything I do, I think about how it would be different if I had a child. Who would be babysitting right now? Would I still be able to shower in the morning or would I have to at night? It never goes away. Like the other ladies said, feel it. It DOES seem like the feeling will never go away, but we all hafta admit that the start of a new cycle always brings with it a little ray of hope that MAYBE this one will work ;-)
My aunt gave birth to a lovely baby girl at the age of I think 45...after over 2 decades of trying to conceive. She didn\'t even use IVF. Miracles do happen, KNOW that. Live that mantra. Expect miracles...
Its nice you got to have a getaway! I am sorry to hear about your struggles. Stay positive lovely! Our times will come and when they do they will be glorious! My thoughts and heart is with you bella! Hugs xoxo.