today has just been entirley too mch already and its only 930. i havent slept in two days because every time i close my eyes i have a nightmare. i dont like nightmares. my moms boyfriend is back i think. and i hate him. i hate him so much. he isnt a good mad. all he is, is a big drunk jerk. so this kid just came up and tried to read this and so now im even madder which makes nosince because everyone reads these. well no one probably reads mine and honestly i dont give two shits right now. im ready to just take a revolver to my head. idk anymore. amber is in st louis until friday. so i cant talk to her. and that sucks and i just...i dont know. ive already contimplated so many things today. im not ready for my exams starting tomorow. im not getting enough hours at work. i just wantt to die to e quite honest right now. im just sooo...im done...forget it. i dont even know y im writing this journal.