not good

today has just been entirley too mch already and its only 930. i havent slept in two days because every time i close my eyes i have a nightmare. i dont like nightmares. my moms boyfriend is back i think. and i hate him. i hate him so much. he isnt a good mad. all he is, is a big drunk jerk. so this kid just came up and tried to read this and so now im even madder which makes nosince because everyone reads these. well no one probably reads mine and honestly i dont give two shits right now. im ready to just take a revolver to my head. idk anymore. amber is in st louis until friday. so i cant talk to her. and that sucks and i just...i dont know. ive already contimplated so many things today. im not ready for my exams starting tomorow. im not getting enough hours at work. i just wantt to die to e quite honest right now. im just done...forget it. i dont even know y im writing this journal.



please remember you are a good person. you do need sleep. it will probably help you to feel less suicidal. try to keep distance from your mom\'s drunk boyfriend. you do not need the stress that comes with him. why can\'t you talk w Amber on the phone. remember she loves you and is close to you in your hearts. i hope you feel better today. get some extra sleep chickie... (((Hugs)))