NOT DOING WELL!!!

January 8 2016
I don't  even know where to start. I have so much stuff I am dealing with.  My depression is really bad, my anxiety is horrible.   I start college on Monday. I don't even know if that is the right choice for me.  I can't get rid of these memories.  I am in OA and working on my fourth step my Sex inventory and in SAA working on my Fear inventory...My family doesn't care about me.   I have been feeling like self harming and feeling suicidal but i have no plan.   just want to self harm.  I can't get the sexual abuse memories, the rape and the sexual assault out of my head.  I am in therapy.. I feel sad all the time and I am dealing with a lot of grief and loneliness.   I hurt way to much...its too much to bear.  not one cares...I so lonely......I can't bear the pain