Not again....

I lost one of my bestfriends. Why? Because i am friends with Macy again. Sierra is mad because me and macy got in a fight at the begining of the year and she doesnt want us to be friends. Which isn't fair because me and Mace have been friends for 3 years. She was there when Matthew died. She was there for me with mom and dad. Sierra wasn't. When i tried to explain this with her, she just blew up and told me I don't ever listen which is bull shit. Thats all i do is listen to my friends prolems. Thats why I'm so depressed most of the time. I'm so worried that they are happy, I neglect myself. After mine and Sierras fight I had to pass my mom 2 times to get to my room. I never cry infront of people and mom and Justin saw me cry. I ws bawling. Mom didn't say anything. Her phone conversation was to important. After I was done crying (like 30 mins later) I tried to talk to my mom about it for the first time since Matts death, and she told me to go away she didn't care. She wonders why I developed eating disorder....