not a great day

Got served an eviction notice today by the sheriff.  I have 20 days to notify the county court what I intend to do.  Not feeling much like anything I do will help and I really don't want anyone else telling me that I should be praying because God cares and has a plan for me.  He has never answered any prayer that I remember and when I was young I really tried to do what I thought he wanted and prayed about everything in my life that was bad to be taken away.  then I found out that some of the things I thought were bad weren't bad at all just part of who I am.  I was born this way (as the song says).  It must be that I'm not supposed to be different than I am because after all that praying I really thought God would make me like every other man in this world but it never happened.
I'm lonely and I'm overwhelmed with responsibility most of the time.  I chose to go to school to try and improve the life that Greg and I have but it is a long road and I don't think things are happening fast enough. 
Greg worries about stuff and then he drinks and it can get really bad.  He is not a pleasant drunk. 
Sometimes I think if I left this life it would stop being such a strain on my brain and my health but then I think that would leave Greg in the care of his mother and I really think should would not care for him properly.  I have to stay here because he needs someone to watch out for him and guide him.  He cannot do it for himself.  His mom and her husband would just put him away somewhere and wouldn't care for him.