Not a good morning...
Woke up this morning with a pounding headache --- and a nightmare. I dreamed that me and my Mom went to the casino and I hit a jackpot on the first machine I played. I didnt know how much I won, it just kept racking up the numbers. Then the attendant came over and said congratulations on winning $30,000. Wow.... I was already making plans to pay off my debt. When I woke up I realized it was all a dream and I was still up to my eyeballs in debt--very depressing. Reality check --- I got myself into this debt because of my behavior that I did not control--my addiction. I must get myself out of debt the opposite way, self control. Old fashioned hard work of just paying it down. No easy ways out---gambling win, inheritance, bankruptcy, etc. Sometimes I wonder which consumes my mind the most... gambling or debt?? No urges, just twirling thoughts of "gambling" in general. I will not gamble today, and I wont change my mind!
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Gambling nightmares are the worst! Well, not exactly. Actually gambling is worse. I can remember when I gambled, I didn\'t like to win right off the bat, cos\' there was no chance in hell I was gonna\' leave with it, not even $30,000!!! Not that I ever won that much, but still, when I won I continued to play until I did all the damage I could for the day. Sorry about the headache, been there, too. Mark always asks me if I drank enough water, he thinks I get headaches from dehydration...maybe Dr. Mark is right! lol But filling ourselves full of the wet stuff can\'t hurt, huh? Hold on a minute, getting a drink of water :)
Okay, I\'m back! Had to puff on a cig while I was at it! lol Read my journal, if you haven\'t already...Mark busted me! It\'s kinda\' funny, actually....lol
So happy you\'re here, taking it one day at a time...now have some good dreams...Love, Robin