NOT A GOOD DAY AT ALL

THE PAST 2 DAYS HAVE TOTALLY SUCKED FOR ME.....1ST OFF I FFEL AS THO IM GONNA HAVE A BREAKDOWN AT WORK EVERYDAY....IM CURRENTLY WORKING IN BABY DEPOT AT BURLINGTON COAT FACTORY.....IF I HAVE 2 REGISTER ONE MORE PREGNANT WOMAN FOR HER BABY SHOWER I MIGHT CUT MY DAMN WRIST!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY I DONT WANT 2 SOUND MEAN OR NOTHING BUT WHEN IS IT GONNA BE MY TURN??? WHY AREN'T I PREGNANT AGAIN? WHILE ISN'T THIS OPK WORKING? WHILE DID I HAVE 2 MISCARRY 2 TIMES? I WANT MY TWINS BACK......I WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT MOTHER 2 THEM....WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY DO OTHER WOMAN GET THE JOY OF HAVING A HEALTHY PREGNANCY AND BABY IN THEIR ARMS AND I DONT? IMA GOOD PERSON.....I FEEL LIKE IM BEING PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS.....AND I KNOW MY FIANCE LOVES ME BUT IM SO SCARED IF I DONT HAVE A CHILD HE WILL LEAVE ME FOR A WOMAN WHO HAS NO PROBLEM GETTING PREGNANT AND GIVING HIM A BABY.....MY WORLD IS CRASHING DOWN AROUND ME....IM IN SCHOOL FOR MEDICAL BILLING AND CODING AND I CANT EVEN FOCUS OB MY WORK....WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR I START 2 CRY.....IM SO FAT....I HATE THE WAY I LOOK.....EVERYTHING IS HITTING ME ALL AT ONCE....I CAN BARELY DRAG MYSELF OUT OF BED SOME DAYS....I BEEN PRAYING SO HARD TO GET PREGANT AGAIN AND NOTHING HAS HAPPENED....I REALLY WANT TO BE A MOM....THIS IS JUST REALLY HARD FOR ME RIGHT NOW....I DONT WANT TO WATCH TV BECAUSE EVERY SHOW HAS A PREGNANT WOMAN, OR A NEW BABY, ALL THE COMMERCIALS ARE ABOUT BABIES...I JUST WANT 2 SCREAM. IM LOSING HOPE ON GETTING PREGNANT........