\"Nobody Told me There\'d Be Days Like These- Strange Days Indeed\"--John Lennon

Strange days indeed. Ever feel like your in limbo? Maybe some wierd transitional phase? In one sense I am enjoying waiting for what is around the corner, in another sense, deathly afraid of it, and in yet another, I feel like I have to do more to enable that transition, yet again, I passively turn it over to God.    Oh the confusion!! Last night I was down after pretty much being pulvarized by my professor as she critiqued our presentations in class. But after I licked my wounds last night I started looking through Delgado's schedule book for registration. Classes I need conflict with work but then I started getting down because I know that I am 40 an majoring in Criminal Justice, which is fine. The thing is, though, is that an associates degree in criminal justice is limiting. Sure, itll be great to have it after all these years of waiting tables but primarily you transfer to 4 year institutions for your bachelor's, and then your in the game.  Well, as I said, Im almost 41.  Here's my problem, the thought of still being a waitress after all these years (since 17) for years while I go to school part time saddens me. Yet the thought of doing anything else when all Ive ever know is waitressing scares me. But I have to deal with that, dont I?! Going back to school after dropping out 20 years earlier was freaky but I did that, so... I am thinking of this plan, I will FOR NOW, hold off on the criminal justice requirement classes--stay at Delgado--and take the required courses for the fully accredited Legal Secretary Certification.  It will be faster (39 credits, Crim just is 69) it is something I might like, and I could with that kind of training at least get a secretarial position someplace at the very least or even with good timing get an entry level position at a law firm. (freaky...!!!) Well about an hour ago I registered for the summer course of ADOT (keyboarding 101)it is a required pre-requisite for enrollment in the Leg Sec program at ol' 'Delly'. So I guess Im taking keyboarding this summer!  Hey, surf's up............................................... Thanks if u read this ramble, I would love feedback. Is this decision sensible,  practical? I just know I have to do something, but I second guess myself all the time, think I cant do it, or fear change, blablabla all that bullshit. I think I need some friendly advise, as I am mentally weary. By the way, I would still resume my criminal justice studies, its kind of a personal achievement thing for me, the h.s. dropout being handed that degree one day.                                                                                           Love yall,     Maria