No wonder
No wonder I never felt safe. There are many reasons, but the blocking, not allowing me in, the not apologizing, the not allowing influence, keeping me at a distance that resulting in everything going sidewards... it's no wonder if you actually entertained me being crazy... playing on my deepest fears.
It's completely dangerous to put myself in that environment. To put myself in a relationship where I'm blamed for everything without the other admitting how they also contributed. I didn't push it that way. I had things that were out of my control, a lot. I had your craziness, I had that of my daughter which was surreal, I had your withdraw and abandonment, I had the school actively working against me. I had the ending / not ending of my divorce and everything that went with it.
And you decided to blame me instead. You decided to not see me. You decided to not sit in the darkness with me, accept me, love me, and be support until I came out the other side. How can I put myself into that environment?
Not having time to catch our breath has nothing to do with those decisions of yours. I know the apology languages for me aren't necessary accepting responsibility, but I know that those quizzes are for the strongest tendencies, not the absence of the other types of apologies. In other words, I need to see acceptance of responsibility too.
How could you throw me under the bus like that?
It's not like March 2014 I wasn't already saying that everything seemed an illusion. I had believed in one truth, and it was proven to be an illusion. I had no idea how deep that went. But flip flop, I've tried to be real, to be transparent, to let you in, and I get that kind of treatment? I get absolutely no back bone, no support just because you're mad at me.
Is this some kind of joke, the crazy making that i know from others so well? That everything I saw I experience is turned back on me? The projection? Jesus Christ, why will I never learn?
After our three week break at the end of January, I asked for compassion and empathy. I feel like you pushed everything sidewards when you were not capable of giving it.
It's completely dangerous to put myself in that environment. To put myself in a relationship where I'm blamed for everything without the other admitting how they also contributed. I didn't push it that way. I had things that were out of my control, a lot. I had your craziness, I had that of my daughter which was surreal, I had your withdraw and abandonment, I had the school actively working against me. I had the ending / not ending of my divorce and everything that went with it.
And you decided to blame me instead. You decided to not see me. You decided to not sit in the darkness with me, accept me, love me, and be support until I came out the other side. How can I put myself into that environment?
Not having time to catch our breath has nothing to do with those decisions of yours. I know the apology languages for me aren't necessary accepting responsibility, but I know that those quizzes are for the strongest tendencies, not the absence of the other types of apologies. In other words, I need to see acceptance of responsibility too.
How could you throw me under the bus like that?
It's not like March 2014 I wasn't already saying that everything seemed an illusion. I had believed in one truth, and it was proven to be an illusion. I had no idea how deep that went. But flip flop, I've tried to be real, to be transparent, to let you in, and I get that kind of treatment? I get absolutely no back bone, no support just because you're mad at me.
Is this some kind of joke, the crazy making that i know from others so well? That everything I saw I experience is turned back on me? The projection? Jesus Christ, why will I never learn?
After our three week break at the end of January, I asked for compassion and empathy. I feel like you pushed everything sidewards when you were not capable of giving it.
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