No turning back (warning: lots of bitching ahead)

I went in for my baseline ultrasound yesterday.  I was told everything was good.  As a "reward" I now get to take 3 injectibile meds a night instead of 1.  Regular old Lupron doesn't seem so bad now that I also have to do the Follistim pen and mix up Menopur every day.  Also, I dunno if anyone else out there has a deep fear of being stabbed, but when it says on the instructions "thrust rapidly into the skin like a dart", I started shaking.  Of course, in the end I barely felt it, but I got myself really psyched up about it.  Come on, this crap is SCARY!!  I keep telling myself that it will probably only be for a week or two, tops.  Of course, then there's the bag of giant needles that get to stab me in the BUTT for 10 weeks if this does work.  **gag**
When all of this is going on, it makes me extra super duper mad at regular girls who get regular pregnant.  They just don't get it!  
I had a meltdown when I came home from the dr yesterday.  It seems like, even though we paid exorbitant amounts of money to them...we still have to pay for everything additionally.  I'm starting to think I just gave them my life savings for free.  So, when I came home, I started crying and saying to my DH that, if this doesn't work, I'll have bankrupted us and ruined everything for nothing but my own selfish desires.  He's sweet and said that of course that isn't true, but it kind of feels that way.  I think I'm just overwhelmed.  DH still feels bad that, even though the "problem" is on his end, I'm the one that has to be poked and prodded and blood-let, and injected and hormonally decimated.
 
I know one thing for sure.  If this does work, and this kid doesn't do what they're told, they're definitely going to hear "Do you have ANY IDEA what I had to go through to make you?! Yeah, you can clean your room!"  Maybe I'll take a photo of the egg extraction needle and store it in a desk and take it out as a reminder from time to time.  "This was IN ME to go and get you! Do the darned dishes!"  Hee hee.

Replies

cidekmat
cidekmat

haha like the ides of the kid thing I am sure it will work out just fine keeping my hopes up for that..and yeah it sucks the crap we go through the money we spend just to achieve something that most women take for granted.. keeping my fingers crossed for you that it goes quickly and you get your bfp :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

that\'s so funny my Ob said \"with all the $$ you have spent this kid better be a Dr.\" it\'s so worth it in the end even if they turn out to be brats LOL!! I am sorry for the extra shots, but hopefully they make you lay a lot of eggs so you don\'t have to go through this again.
ktk7779413
ktk7779413

Wow, that does sound scary. i wish it was easier for you and for all of us on here. My clomid misery sounds like nothing compared to what you are going through. hang in there!!
whimsicalfool
whimsicalfool

Yeah, I just did tonight\'s injections. Quicker and easier, but still unpleasant. You should see all the red bumps and bruises on my beer gut!
Nellysgirl
Nellysgirl

So sorry about all the shots you have to take! But yay for everything looking good and you getting the go ahead. And you\'re damn right that child(ren) better do as they\'re told after all we do to bring them into this world lol
LMWT
LMWT

Just keep thinking about what all the shots will bring you in the end! Good luck to you hun! And the bumm shots are not as bad as I thought, and even if they were worse, they would be worth every once of pain and bruises!
whimsicalfool
whimsicalfool

That\'s true. I tend to build things up in my brain to be bigger than what they end up being. That, combined with some runaround we\'re getting from the hospital, is making this a bit more stressful than I wanted it to be. Oh well. I keep telling myself \"It\'s only a month, tops. Months fly by. I got this.\"