No time to say it all...
One word to describe the last week....? "Hell" comes to mind.
Please keep praying for Sophia. She has been subjected to terrible painful tests that, so far, have yielded nothing but an excruciating, life threatening condition in her intestines that is NOT the source of HER pain...she didn't even flinch and the doctors said even a huge football player would have been on the floor screaming...so they don't know WHAT is hurting her. More tests...more frustration...more money that we don't have...
Our house is only 5 yrs old and our furnace died (can't afford to fix it right now & it's dropping to 30's at night)...and on and on with disasters too numerous to name.
Some aspects of this week are things I NEED to pour out in a journal, when I have time. I am buried in UN-checked emails, unchecked voicemail messages, unopened mail and since all the bill collectors carpool to our house, it was hard to even get into our house today...lol
Now for quick positives... 1) My husband is not treating me like a pariah (sexually) anymore...WHEW! He EVEN says he is at peace with NOT ACTIVELY AVOIDING pregnancy. Of course, he reached this conclusion when it was probably too late in my cycle to risk anything, but I'm going to enjoy this new state of his heart. 2) When we got home from Children's hospital on Friday night, a friend of mine came by. She told me that she had conspired with my husband for me to go away with her to a women's retreat with her church. I had 10 minutes to pack and we were GONE. I have never done anything like that before (last minute trip with no advance planning). The retreat was 5 minutes from my house in an adorable camp with beautiful new cottages. It was a weekend full of tears, laughter and prayers. It was hard to go, because Sophia's test on Friday was painful and left her with horrible cramps all weekend and I HAVE NEVER BEEN AWAY FROM HER, but I do believe I was meant to go. I needed it for what we were in store for today.... A tale I will share another day.
BTW, in case I don't make it back to a computer, Matthew's funeral is FINALLY here...this Thursday. We are so blessed to be able to do this. I think I shared that we are making it a Memorial for other babies lost in pregnancy...we will have little card stock hearts for people to write their babies' names on-or maybe a little message/prayer for them..OR they could choose polished stones & a glass pen to write their babies' names on...Those items will then be buried with Matthew's tiny coffin and when we can afford a headstone, we'll make it say something special, so other families can grieve THEIR babies at Matthew's grave.
Heading off for a hope of rest... Blessings to you all!! You are my precious and dear friends!! I have missed you so much and need to have time to catch up on what has been going on with everyone!
Please keep praying for Sophia. She has been subjected to terrible painful tests that, so far, have yielded nothing but an excruciating, life threatening condition in her intestines that is NOT the source of HER pain...she didn't even flinch and the doctors said even a huge football player would have been on the floor screaming...so they don't know WHAT is hurting her. More tests...more frustration...more money that we don't have...
Our house is only 5 yrs old and our furnace died (can't afford to fix it right now & it's dropping to 30's at night)...and on and on with disasters too numerous to name.
Some aspects of this week are things I NEED to pour out in a journal, when I have time. I am buried in UN-checked emails, unchecked voicemail messages, unopened mail and since all the bill collectors carpool to our house, it was hard to even get into our house today...lol
Now for quick positives... 1) My husband is not treating me like a pariah (sexually) anymore...WHEW! He EVEN says he is at peace with NOT ACTIVELY AVOIDING pregnancy. Of course, he reached this conclusion when it was probably too late in my cycle to risk anything, but I'm going to enjoy this new state of his heart. 2) When we got home from Children's hospital on Friday night, a friend of mine came by. She told me that she had conspired with my husband for me to go away with her to a women's retreat with her church. I had 10 minutes to pack and we were GONE. I have never done anything like that before (last minute trip with no advance planning). The retreat was 5 minutes from my house in an adorable camp with beautiful new cottages. It was a weekend full of tears, laughter and prayers. It was hard to go, because Sophia's test on Friday was painful and left her with horrible cramps all weekend and I HAVE NEVER BEEN AWAY FROM HER, but I do believe I was meant to go. I needed it for what we were in store for today.... A tale I will share another day.
BTW, in case I don't make it back to a computer, Matthew's funeral is FINALLY here...this Thursday. We are so blessed to be able to do this. I think I shared that we are making it a Memorial for other babies lost in pregnancy...we will have little card stock hearts for people to write their babies' names on-or maybe a little message/prayer for them..OR they could choose polished stones & a glass pen to write their babies' names on...Those items will then be buried with Matthew's tiny coffin and when we can afford a headstone, we'll make it say something special, so other families can grieve THEIR babies at Matthew's grave.
Heading off for a hope of rest... Blessings to you all!! You are my precious and dear friends!! I have missed you so much and need to have time to catch up on what has been going on with everyone!
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