No Sleep 'til ???
I wish I could write BROOKLYN!! You know, like the song.
But sleep has evaded me the past few days. The pain and severe pressure in my head, neck, face, and shoulders is compounded 1000 fold if I try to lie down. So, I decided to also move my laptop and see if a different angle of viewing my screen might help, too. When I did slowly fall under I was met with awful dreams and when I was awake in the dark, listening to hubby sleep, I had all kinds of gruesome memories and strange thoughts.
Now there is some construction/destruction project going on in the yard next to mine, a slamming and pounding of wood that makes me want to punch someone. Of course I won't. They have music going, too. Dear goodness gracious, really?
Hubby tried to massage my neck and shoulders yesterday morning and admitted he wants to help me but doesn't know what to do. That *I* know what makes him feel better (sigh) but he doesn't know what to do for me. I told him, I wish I knew what to do to make me feel better, too. It would be DONE ALREADY!
I am concerned that perhaps there is nothing that can help me. That causes great anxiety if I let it swirl around in my mind too much. I keep telling myself that I have faith that God will prepare a way for me to do the things that I need to do. It is not MY way, but His way that I have to follow. How to quiet these loud cruel voices and the pressure and tensions that fill my body? I prayed all night for relief. Since this is my hour of quiet (which is incidentally not as quiet as I'd like with that crap going on outside), I am going to shower and try some mindful scripture reading. I know there is relief for me. I just have to be willing to do it HIS way.
dea
But sleep has evaded me the past few days. The pain and severe pressure in my head, neck, face, and shoulders is compounded 1000 fold if I try to lie down. So, I decided to also move my laptop and see if a different angle of viewing my screen might help, too. When I did slowly fall under I was met with awful dreams and when I was awake in the dark, listening to hubby sleep, I had all kinds of gruesome memories and strange thoughts.
Now there is some construction/destruction project going on in the yard next to mine, a slamming and pounding of wood that makes me want to punch someone. Of course I won't. They have music going, too. Dear goodness gracious, really?
Hubby tried to massage my neck and shoulders yesterday morning and admitted he wants to help me but doesn't know what to do. That *I* know what makes him feel better (sigh) but he doesn't know what to do for me. I told him, I wish I knew what to do to make me feel better, too. It would be DONE ALREADY!
I am concerned that perhaps there is nothing that can help me. That causes great anxiety if I let it swirl around in my mind too much. I keep telling myself that I have faith that God will prepare a way for me to do the things that I need to do. It is not MY way, but His way that I have to follow. How to quiet these loud cruel voices and the pressure and tensions that fill my body? I prayed all night for relief. Since this is my hour of quiet (which is incidentally not as quiet as I'd like with that crap going on outside), I am going to shower and try some mindful scripture reading. I know there is relief for me. I just have to be willing to do it HIS way.
dea
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